Happy Masturbation Month!!

I do not wish to know what age was your first time, or how many apartments you've done the bin Laden un.

 

I've got to hand it to you for getting this up by yourself. You beat us all to it.

 

Well played.

 

A stroke of genius, to be sure.

 

Some good songs on here for sure, but a month like this deserves it's own special anthem. With apologies to Kool and the Gang:

Masturbate good times
cum on ! - Let's masturbate
It’s alright

Masturbate good times
cum on ! - Let's masturbate
Stroke it right

There's a party going on right here
Down in my pants just to make it clear
So bring your Kleenex and your lotion too
we're gonna masturbate and spank out some love goo

Let's all masturbate and have a good time

Mas tur bation
we gonna masturbate and have a good time.

It's time to cum together
So rub one out
for your self pleasure
everyone around the world
cum on
Woo hoo!
Woo hoo!

Masturbate good times
cum on
let's masturbate

We're gonna rub and stroke it tonight
let's masturbate
Grab it tight

we're gonna spill some splooge tonight ( Mas tur bation)
let's masturbate (Mas tur bation)

Masturbate good times
cum on
let's masturbate
Squeal with delight

Masturbate good times
cum on
it's a wet sensation.

Masturbate good times
cum on
let's masturbate
Yank and crank it all night

Masturbate good times
cum on
Do some luv juice makin.

Come on and masturbate - tonight
'cause everyone’s gonna rub and tug it
all night
Let's masturbate
masturbate good times
cum on

 

AND WE WILL BE TALKING ABOUT .... MASTURBATION!!!!

 

Sally Draper approves.

 

Two words for ya: Ann Coulter.

 

Whip it out at the ballgame,
wave it 'round at the crowd,
dip it in peanuts and cracker jack,
I don't care if you give it a whack,
So it's jerk, jerk, jerk at the ballgame,
if you don't cum it's a shame,
for it's one, two, you're covered with goo
at the old ballgame.

 

The last verse of the unreleased Springsteen song "In Freehold" -

- first played in 1996 and then again in 1999-2000 - goes like this:
Well I got a good catholic education.....here in Freehold...
Led to an awful lot of masturbation here in Freehold....
Father it was just something I did for a smile.....
Hell I still get a good one off once in a while.....
And dedicate it to Freehold.....

 

"When masturbation's lost its fun, You're f*cking lonely." -- William Joseph Armstrong

 

Paul Reubens approves