Have you ever heard your woman pass gas? To the women: Why hide it?

Don't you just hate that? You're trying to get some, um, alone time, and kitty decides that she wants to play.

We had a cat that would follow you into the bathroom and jump on the sink. He liked to drink water from the tap and he figured out the whole process. I miss the little guy.

 

One of my high school girlfriends ripped a nasty silent-but-deadly fart once while we were at a crowded arcade. I said, "Holy shit, someone let one fly!"

She giggled and whispered in my ear, "That was me."

I was so fucking proud of her!

 

We hold each other's bags in the men's room, too.

 

If she farted in Las Vegas, I was unaware.

 

See, I keep telling that damned cat it's him. He doesn't believe me!

 

If the point you're making is - Burping or farting in public, being embarrassed and saying "excuse me" is fine. Doing it and then laughing/giggling like you're watching a campfire scene in "Blazing Saddles" isn't. Then I would agree with you.

 

My dog farts in his sleep ... he's up to three in the last 20 minutes. His gas smells like stagnant seawater. Why, God? Why?

 

I learned an early lesson when it came 'passing gas'... Me Mom and I went to pick up Grandma's fur at Berger's in Buffalo, and I as any responsible 5 year old child would do I ... farted... Mom caught a 'whiff' and I asked if If I had passed gas... "huh?" said the five year old... Mom said "Did you fart?" She made sit in the aisle, and when the next shopper came by she exclaimed... "My son did that"... That and having Grandma ask me to expalin 'swear words' at the age of seven, taught me some public decorum.... 8)

 

I once sharted on the golf course. Luckily, there were woods nearby and I was wearing a t-shirt.

 

I didn't realize that being polite in company was being anal.
No one has more fun in life than I do. I can promise you that. But my fun doesn't include being lewd, crude and socially offensive.
Take heart. Some of you may actually become adults one day.