Have you ever heard your woman pass gas? To the women: Why hide it?

How 'bout "Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed?"

 

OK, but I dibs, I mumbled something underneath my breath, she studied the length of my face.

 

Well done. That reads like a T.J. Lambert story in Semi-Tough.

 

TJ could give you a long slow one.

I just made myself sick.

 

Again?

 

Except on his wedding night, when he accidentally shit the bed.

 

And Donna loved him anyway.

And don't forget the pre-Super Bowl party, and the deb who really wanted someone to piss all over her while she lay naked in the marble tub. TJ obliged.

And he snarled one off at Billy Clyde and told him, "That's all I got for tootie-frooties what write books."

God, Jenkins is the man.

 

I finished reading Semi-Tough again last night. I've probably read it 10 times. I think I'll pick up Life It's Ownself tonight.

 

A friend tells the story of being one of four couples in a nice dark bar one night. Ladies excuse themselves and all four head to the restroom. While in there, someone decides they should all switch clothes and see how long it takes any of the men to notice. So that's what they did.

It took a while before someone caught on, but the men cited poor lighting and drunkenness as factors.

 

In my best R. Lee Ermey voice: Outstanding!

 

Saw a comedian on Carson once who observed, "The first year of marriage, you hold your gas. After that, it's 'Hey, Honey, listen to this.'"

 

Does anyone else have an "open door policy" in their household?