Hello, I’m a person in a film

In fact, in Rocky, you could barely hear the decision. It was totally irrelevant to the story.

 

Hello, I am on the run from everyone. Although I know that all of these people chasing me have access to every security camera everywhere, I will never put on a disguise or even a baseball cap to hide my face.

 

Hello, I'm a police department. My officers will make it across a large city in no time at all. And work cases in other jurisdictions.

 

Hello I'm a person in a film who has a regular job. It is never, ever dark out when I leave for work in the morning.

 

Hello, I’m the hottest woman you’ve ever met in real life who can’t get a date this weekend.

 

And I'm clumsy and trip a lot to make me relatable. See I'm not perfect.

 

Hi, I’m an accused criminal in a film and after my arrest, I get just one visit with my lawyer and then the trial starts within just a few days of my arrest.

 

Hello, I'm a person in a film at a restaurant. I have ordered a very expensive meal and a bottle of wine, which has been poured. When our conversation ends, I will leave the restaurant before the entree arrives. I will not have consumed any wine.

 

That's because you're wearing glasses, which make you an awkward, ugly duckling.

 

Hello, I'm a police officer and I shot and killed a suspect without consequences. Oh, wait...

 

I was going to write: “Hello, My name is a person in a film, you killed my father, prepare to die!”

But instead I’ll go with: Hello, I’m a villain in a film who has captured a hero I really hate. Instead of a quick and merciless death, I’ll devise some odd, complicated execution which will always allow the hero to escape.

 

TOO SOON