How did your paper play the David Beckham signing

Yeah, you're one to judge brilliant, all right, troll.

"Mugglemurph ... HELMETS ... eadc uedklsld, c ... designers ... ds4ks,s saiwkd sksix ... cut-and-paste ... huafssdksks ... Kool-Aid ... afdjidsamuggle ... mmmmmm, Kool-Aid..."

 

I actually enjoy the NFL. I just don't think that the 19th story about a Seahawk lineman overcoming the adversity of growing up on the wrong side of the tracks is so important that I need to go all-out for it.

Not that you've ever seemed capable of a sustained, adult discussion, Paris.

 

A sustained adult discussion? If he has to go into a second sentence, he begins speaking in tongues.

 

You're gay.

Next?

 

Wow, somebody musta gotten his ass kicked by a soccer player in high school or something.

Biggest sports move since Gretzky. Yea, it shoulda had massive play in every paper, even if you dispise soccer with every fabric of your being. We shouldn't allow our personal feelings towards a sport cause us to poorly serve our readers.

 

Yeah? Polled a lot of readers, have you? If that's the case, life must be absolutely fucking RIVETING in Nowheresville, Fucklahoma, 314-- (locals couldn't handle the extra two digits. Fortunately Guns & Ammo and the Wal-Mart Circular know how to find ya.)

 

But chick, Shaun Alexander REALLY wants to win this game, and Mike Holmgren is hoping to expose some weaknesses in the Chicago deklklllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Sorry, fell asleep on the keyboard there.

 

There's space for both. Cut ol' Shaun and Mikey down to 10 instead of 20 inches and you've got space for your Becks story. Besides, where's the news in Shaun and Mikey. There's news in Becks, and lots of it.

 

Screw you and your even-handedness, I say.

 

You love me and you know it

 

aye, and a passionate love it is, me lassy.