How much time to you get to yourself?

About the only alone time I get is when I run. At work, when I'm not in class, I have students in my office a lot. And at home after work, it's helping two kids with homework or getting them to practice their music or taking them to and from music lessons.

But, last Friday, I went out of town to a writers workshop, and it was in one of our favorite towns. Wife asked if she could go. I just said, "Nope." She's been out of town plenty of times on shopping excursions with her friends. This was my first solo out-of-town trip in many years. It was good.

 

Relationship goals, right there.

Unfortunately, my girlfriend has about the same interest in video games as I do in going to one of her barre classes. So if/when moving in together happens, I'll have to pray we find a place with a man cave/office where my habit can continue.

 

I'm single, I live alone and much of my work is done alone. I get all the alone I want (sometimes more than I want, yes).

 

Sorry to hear that, shotty. Never underestimate the importance of keeping busy when something terrible happens.

 

It's funny, when I was younger and single and had no kids, I had a fear of missing out. Over time, I've come to realize that never -- not once -- have I woken up on a Saturday or Sunday and kicked myself for not going out the night before. The number of times I wish I'd stayed home? Too damn numerous to count

 

I get about an hour in the morning after my wife goes to work that is spent eating, reading the paper and getting ready, plus a couple hours Sunday morning when she goes to church. Other than that, not much.

I'm more likely to leave for a day to go to a ballgame or such with a buddy and leave her home alone than vice versa. She also gets home from work about 3, giving her three hours or so before I arrive.

It's rare that I will get a day alone to catch up on TV shows she doesn't like or just do whatever.

 

When our first child was born (18 years ago next month), I began to shift from reporting to copy desk/layout work, which meant a "second shift" schedule for me. This allowed my wife (a teacher) and I to avoid day care, as someone was always home with the kids when they were young. The only free time I recall from that era (we had another child two years later) was the occasional "nap when they nap."

Eventually both kids were in school (2007 or so), and free time returned during the morning and early afternoon. It was (and is) more valuable than gold. I've used some of it to exercise, some of it to do chores, some of it to play guitar, and some of it to just plain relax. So while I value the summers and the weekend time (or very rare weeknight) I get to spend with the wife and family, I also need the time spent by myself (with a dog or two) during the day, when everyone's at school

 

I should be clear that a lot of those "nights out" are really just nights spent over with our usual group at a friend's house. I don't tend to "go out" traditionally much any more on the weekends. I love heading out to tap rooms/breweries during the afternoon and either settling in at a friend's spot or at home during the evening.

 

I didn't get married until I was in my mid thirties so had plenty of time alone, also wasn't sure I would want kids.

Now with 3 kids the only alone time I really get is the drive to/from work and I am for the most part very happy with it. I am starting to lift again which qualifies as my alone time.

I had a job that took me thru the Caribbean before the second and third kids came along and while travelling alone sucks I remember planning some trips around March Madness so I could hole up in the hotel and watch 9 hours of basketball.

4 days of down time in Aruba and I all I did was watch basketball. It was tremendous.

 

Wife works Monday-Friday and I work Wednesday-Sunday. Early on, the only daycare we could get into with our boy, who is now 14 months old, was M-F, so I had Mondays and Tuesdays all by myself.

It was great. Got to sleep in, be a degenerate and bet horses, and generally lounged around.

Then, to save money, we went to a daycare that allowed us to go W-F, which meant I was on daddy duty Mondays and Tuesdays.

At first, because he was still kind of a blob and wasn't mobile, it was hard as hell and not enjoyable at all. But now that he's mobile and developing into a little person, we can go do things and have fun.

Now I look forward to those two days every week. Today, we went to the park with the dog and both of them basically played on a muddy grass field for a couple hours. We all had a ball.

But, if I'm being entirely honest, I'd like one of those alone days every once in a while.

 

Lots of time. Didn't want kids, wife and I are on different work schedules. We have 1 day off together. More than that, and we'd peobably kill each other. We're on the verge of being the old married couple with separate bedrooms. I need more room for my back pillows, and she snores and flops around too much.

 

On days when I have evening games I get to wake up at my liesure, make coffee and watch reruns or my DVR. Wife is up by 4 and off to work by 6:30 so I don't see her in the morning unless I have insomnia.

If I'm forced to cover something on a Saturday I've gotten in the habit of catching movies on the Monday when I take a day off to not end up working an extra day per pay period. It's been nice.