How Not to Write a Column -- Sid! Style

I didn't see the tape recorder.

An older radio guy who covers Univ. of Iowa events (and who also isn't a big Sid fan) carries one of those tape recorders. A few years ago, Illinois' Dee Brown asked him, "What is that, a VCR?"

 

The last time I saw Sid he still had it, but that's been a few years.

 

Sid Hartman is one of the best, fairest, greatest-writing, awesomest reporters ... none of you pond scum are qualified to carry his pen. [/bobknight]

 

Forearm shiv to the back of the head usually works -- as long as his head doesn't turn to dust

 

That's awesome. Especially since I work with someone who also still uses that same VCR-style recorder.

 

What bowl bids did the program have in the 20, 30 years prior to his going there?

Did you want the Lou Holtz era back?

They have substandard facilities compared to the rest of the Big Ten, at least until the new stadium opens, and the fact that they even got players such as Maroney, Barber III, Cupito says something damn good about Mason's recruiting.

He also was being pitched by Paterno to take over at Penn State a few years ago, when Paterno was being jostled around by Spanier and the big bosses in UP. That should say something, too.

My jack is done.

 

wicked: Mason was a shitty coach and a shittier human being.

Believe.

 

Was he ever today's sports hero?

 

Not doubting you, Zeke, but if that's Minnesota's standard for firing him, well, that's rich.

I'm sure all the administration cares about is winning football games and the accompanying revenue.

 

For a big paper (one that certainly has seen better days), that was a terribly pedestrian column. Prediction aside, it was thin and dull.

 

Football is far from a big revenue sport at Minnesota. They don't own the stadium, don't own the parking, don't get the concessions.

He was fired because he couldn't win AND he was a sleazebag, no doubt. But Minnesota isn't your average school where football is the main revenue sport. Except, apparently, when NDSU comes to town.

 

Oh, christ.

Glen Mason is the biggest fucking fraud in college football.

His cheerleaders (of which there is an astonishing number) continue to pimp him as a "proven winner" who "builds championship-level programs."

In 21 years as a head coach, he has a career record of 123-121-1. He has 11 winning seasons in 21 years. His best-ever conference finish was a tie for second, and that was 12 years ago.

That scintillating 123-121-1 record includes a conference record of 67-91-1. His nonconference schedules include some of the most pussy-ass cupcakes in the history of college football (the very reason Minnesota is playing North Dakota State in the first place. No, the real reason is that Northeast North Dakota Poodle Grooming Academy didn't have an open date on the schedule.)

Mason also trolled after virtually every single Division I job that ever came open, doing everything except dropping his panties on national TV to get the Ohio State job (which he felt he really deserved, being a Buckeye grad and all. OSU looked at his career record, something like 101-104-1 at the time, and decided differently).

Mason also trolled after jobs at Michigan State and Illinois, which the Gopher faithful were a lot less forgiving about. Of course OSU is a better job than Minnesota, nobody could dispute that. But there's no particular reason the Michigan State or Illinois jobs are or should be any better than Minnesota, and that tore it for the Minnesota people.

It's one thing to continually pull the contract-blackmail routine if you're winning big, going to bigtime bowl games year after year, but Mason wasn't. He was going 6-6 and going to the Purina Dog Chow Bowl. As soon as he had a real dud year, he was done for.

As pointed out by several posters above, Minnesota almost lost to ND State last year, and was trending downward in a big way at the end of the season. Brewster has bombed, but my bet is Mason wouldn't be doing much better.