How Not to Write a Column -- Sid! Style

Again, tell me what Minnesota had done in the 30 years before he got there?

No one ever said he was a stellar coach. He did what was needed to be done to get them to be respectable, though.

 

Wait. The Star-Tribune prints posts from fan messageboards and calls them columns?
Cool. Where do I apply?

 

Quit picking on Joe Salem...

 

Wacky Wacker was the guy who took the Gophs into the nether regions of the Big Ten on a consistent basis. Before him, Gutenkunst, Holtz and Cal Stoll had them hanging around .500, going 6-5, 7-5 every third or fourth year -- essentially what Mason had been doing (except against MUCH, much harder schedules -- Minnesota used to play teams like USC and Nebraska in the nonconference season).

There's no reason, especially with the new stadium opening, Minnesota shouldn't be as viable a football program as Illinois, Michigan State, Indiana, Northwestern and the rest of the Big Ten's red-headed stepchildren. It doesn't take much to beat out that lot.

 

Please, Mason had taken them to a number of bowl games, which none of the other coaches did.

And Holtz teams are about as dirty as a Bronx hooker at 3 a.m.

 

There appreciably more bowl games than there used to be, making it easier for 7-5 mediocrities to garner bids.

 

Of course, Ben, but there also are a bunch more I-A football teams than there used to be to compete for those bowl bids.

 

Sid still does tote around that "VCR" recorder of his. (Thank you, Dee Brown, for that shot.)

The old jerk is the anti-Dorian Gray. In his closet at home, he has a portrait that has gotten mellower and nicer with age, with something resembling a sense of humor and some perspective, the way old guys are supposed to. Sid's just going to "nasty" away.

 

I cannot believe Sid is 87 and still cranking it out. Were I lucky enough to make it that far, I would have been sitting under a palm tree for the past 25 years.

When he finally goes, either on his feet or off of it, will anybody be upset?

 

To the readers -- a not a few coaches around the nation -- he's an institution.

To anyone in the business, he's an embarrassment -- at least on some level.

Let's be remembering that the next time someone gets up on their high horse about "giving the readers what they want."

Sid Hartman is what the readers want.

 

What the fuck does this tidbit have to do with the fucking game?

 

That's not entirely true, Zeke.

I know plenty of people who read the Strib who can't stand King Sid.

I've known more than a few athletes over the years who think he's a flippin' joke as well (and that's from 20 years ago.)

He need to go away.

Far, far away.