How old were you when you got married?

43 and wife was 34. In four months, it will be seven years. We have a 10-year-old and a 4-year old. Being a first-time (and second-time) dad at 40 and 45 is ... something.

I was single for so long — except for a five-year relationship — that it's still a little bit of a struggle to give up my do-what-I-want-when-I-want ways. (I think one of those hyphens killed a kitten.) But, in truth, I probably would have drunk myself to death if I hadn't met my wife.

 

I was 23 and she was 21. We had just graduated college and had been together since I was 20 and she was 18. Married 27 years now with three teenagers, the oldest in college. I wouldn’t change a thing. She’s perfect for me and I hope I’m perfect for her. We’re truly best friends and soulmates. I know I’m a truly lucky guy. The last 30 years have passed in the blink of an eye.

That said, the smartest thing we did was wait to have kids. I was 31 and she was 29 when kid one came along.

 

I was 21 and she was 25

 

We were 26 and had been together five years. Had our first at 27 and second at 30 and been married 19 years. Wouldn't have waited because all that happened right before the newspaper industry began crashing and it would have been more stress to deal with it if we waited.

 

I was 36, she was 28.
We went along ok for a couple years while we both had real shithole jobs. I wanted kids but not while we were still scratching for nickels.

She had some health problems that made me nervous about kids too.

Then we both got new jobs at roughly double our previous pay. We moved across state, to her home region of the state. She reconnected with a bunch of her old friends.

We were making lots more money, but never seemed to catch up on any of our back debts. Every month or so she would "discover" an old student loan or credit card that had to be paid off, so we fell deeper and deeper and deeper in the hole.

We also got on 180- degree different work schedules; while I was working nights, she started bar-hopping with her old friends, who were serious party girls. These gals pounded it down.

One night a few of these booze hound-ettes were at our apartment when I came home. One of them decided to tell ME exactly what she thought of my work schedule and our marriage, in a screaming tirade in full earshot of the entire building.

Somehow she got out of the building on foot and not in a rubber bag, but how, I don't know. I've never ever raised a hand at my wife or any other significant other, but THAT bitch, I was about a half-second away from demolishing.

Within a couple months my wife moved out; the divorce was final within a year.

I had been on the brink a couple times before (pregnancy scares): when i was 17, a senior in HS, and when I was 28-29, in my first dog-scratch newspaper job.

In each case, almost certainly, I'd have gotten married in another month or so, but both times the girl miscarried and we drifted apart into different lives.


Once in a while it does hit me: I could have a kid in their 40s now. Or early 30s. Yikes.

 

31 and wish I had opted for later or never, because I sure would have liked to have had a far greater understanding of bi-polar and that effing mother in law.

 

Got married when I was 38. Never wanted to get married until I felt I had my shit together with a decent career going. Parents were always broke so didn’t want to have kids until I had some consistent cash flow.

Daughter born when I was 41 and son at 44. Also have a 21 year old step daughter so our house can be a gong show of activity (which I love.)

I have reconciled that I most likely won’t get to be a cool grandpa.

I thought I would always be the obvious oldest at my kid’s activities but lots of older parents out there and I seem to be perceived younger than I am at 51.

 

38 married
39 first and only child
11 years later things are probably better than ever

 

Amen.

Like a friend of mine said, don’t spend time looking in your rear view mirror.

Hard not to at first, of course, but later on, you barely give that mirror a glance. And all can become good or even great again.

Happy holidays!
VB

 

23/20 after exactly four years of dating. Baby MMSW came along 10 months later. (It only takes one time, ladies and gentlemen.)

Only downside to early marriage is we didn’t have a lot saved up, and Baby MMSW’s C-section birth ended up being a $15,000 shocker when our new insurance (thank you, Gannett, for switching everyone in midyear) refused to cover almost everything. Didn’t even cover a penny of the room because it was a private room and the coverage would only pay for a semiprivate room.

The plus side is the kid’s in college while my wife is still in her 30s. Easily the hottest mom on campus.

 

No. 1 was my pre-school/ grade school sweetheart; we were actually born in the same hospital one week apart. Our mothers were friends for decades.

After the close call in HS, we went to colleges in different states; she stayed on the Type A track, graduated in 3 years, and entered law school while I was dicking around, dropping in, dropping out, driving wrecker and drinking beer.

She married up, way up; she got her law degree but then became a trophy wife as she married a dude who became a high six figure administrator. Never practiced law; works part time as an office manager in Hubby's organization.

No. 2 (actually No. 5-6 or so but let's keep it simple) was probably the keeper. She worked in composing while I was the sports editor at 6-day daily.

I got promoted up the chain to a managing editor job and she couldn't come along. We tried the long distance deal for a few months, then started losing contact.

At one point I realized it was three or four months since we'd spoken. I made a couple phone calls and found out she'd left the paper a couple months earlier ... then, in a matter of six weeks or so, contracted cancer and died.

Apparently she'd been quite sick for some time, but never told anybody.

I always break up a bit in "Broken Flowers" when Bill Murray tracks down his old lovers, to find one has died-- and its clear she was probably "the one."