How to deal with a breakup

Nicely played, sir.

 

Dr. J has two best friends. One is female. But she's a lesbian, so I really don't think I have anything to worry about.

 

This was just the one that caught my attention, but I find it rather amusing to think that men and women can't be friends without wanting to sleep with each other.

I've known this girl, my best friend, since the day she started dating a guy I graduated high school with when we were juniors. She is the one person who is not a family member who I answer the phone for after midnight. She is the one person I would drop everything for to help out if she was in trouble. She's the one person I've gotten in a fight for because I saw a guy raise his hand like he was going to hit her. A black eye and a busted nose later, she didn't get hit and he got the point never to speak to her again.

Maybe I'm being naive here, but is it so wrong to think that I could think like this and act like this without wanting to sleep with her? About five years ago she brought up the idea of dating when we had become really close friends. I said no because I thought it would be too weird, plus you never date a good friend's ex (and they're back together now).

As for an update, I really appreciate everyone's advice and their stories, it helps knowing there's people who have gone through much worse — and I'm truly sorry for your experiences — and knowing I got off easy.

It's been a little over two weeks since I found out I was single again and things have been good. There was one night the ex decided she wanted to talk and we talked for a while and that was just a bad idea. I got to listen about how I apparently was a bad boyfriend. That was a bad night, but I got over it.

I took the age-old advice of getting drunk this past weekend. Went out to Penn State to visit my best friend and found a good party to get wasted at. Met some girl who I was interested in, but being the pussy that I am, didn't do anything resembling showing any interest, just talked about life for a little bit and joked around. It was a good weekend to get away from my life and just let loose.

Thanks everyone for all the advice, it really helped a lot.

One addition, I thought the ideas of listening to "Unanswered Prayers" and "Here's a Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)" were good songs, but the best one I found that helped me out was Closing Time by, I believe, Semisonic. "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Perfect.

 

My apologies for trying to drag you into a thread-jack of your own thread, but what about actual love? I mean, sure we find ourselves JUST wanting to sleep with people, but what about falling in love with a friend as you get closer? It seems almost inevitable that a straight man and woman, especially when they are both single, would eventually develop romantic feelings for each other if their friendship reaches a certain level of depth. It really only seems natural, to me.

 

Don't think I can be of much help on this thread. It's been so long since there's been a significant other that even the pain of breakup looks like the good ole days.