How to deal with a breakup

Yup. But the Flutie and Team Canada jerseys are going up this week.

 

If the best friend is far away, I'd think that would ease one area of tension.

And I guess I don't see the sense in saying: "Well, I have this relationship that might be fixed and lead to something, or I have this career that underpays, demands strange hours and is in a field with a lot of serious problems. I'll dump the relationship and go with the career."

That's assuming the relationship might be fixed.

 

But in the end, I got Mr. Big.
So sometimes things happen for a reason ...

 

Here's one for you:

My girlfriend of 14 months or so decided today that we should probably break up.

Nothing was particularly wrong with our relationship. She fit the prototype of what I would want in a partner for life in just about every category. Outside of satisfying this abstract concept, we had a blast together. We were best friends (hopefully still will be), enjoyed each other's company all the time and our respective families were (are, we haven't broken the news) very much on board with the idea of us being together.

The problem was this: We are both very amibitious people, and neither of us is willing to compromise our own careers at the expense of another, no matter how great the relationship might be. I will be graduating from MBA school soon, and she will be starting law school. She said initially that she wanted me to find a job in the city where she will be studying, and I was down for that. The more I thought about it, however, I felt like I would be shortchanging myself in not exploring opportunities in other places. She cut me off at the pass when she said she could not, despite her previous statements, ask me to make concessions that she herself would not be willing to make. We also can't agree on where we want to live in the future (which city, maybe abroad, etc.)

So it ended. Probably the best relationship I've ever had, without a hint of controversy even if there was and will continue to be some sadness. I felt like it was quite an adult decision on both of our parts. I just hope it will not be one that I end up regretting.

 

That's what I thought too, because I've been in that same situation.  My girlfriend, whom I worked with, couldn't get over how tight I was with this other girl whom I also worked with.  It got to the point where I couldn't handle the grief I'd get from just talking to this girl, even about work stuff.  So I dumped my girlfriend and the "other girl" is now my wife of five years.

The way I see it, if you don't want to sleep with a friend of the opposite sex, you'll have no problem saying "look, I'm sorry, but our friendship is causing too much crap with my girlfriend."  Assuming you're both straight.  But if you can't tell her that, or don't want to tell her that, there's some latent stuff going on there.

 

Cheer up, it could be worse.
When I was younger I met this girl at a party. It was love at first sight, but our families were sworn enemies.
To make matters worse, her brother got in a fight with my friend. I tried to break it up but unintentionally caused her brother's death.
And from there, things got really crazy.
Long story short — it didn't end well.

 

Thank you, Mr. Montague.

 

Breakups suck. Even if you don't really feel all that strongly about the person, there's an emptiness that happens when something that was there before no longer is. Especially when you're used to the sex and it, well, is replaced by old faithful five-finger shuffle.

The frustrating part of this business is actually finding someone that you click with. It doesn't happen often, at least for me, with the weird hours, copious travel, the lack of anything resembling a weekend off for the most part. My problem is that I'm incredibly picky. I have a limited amount of time away from work, and I'd like to spend it with someone who is like-minded, engaging, fun. Cute helps, of course. But cute alone doesn't cut it. I need more. This, that and the other. [/elaine]. Where am I meeting this girl? No idea. If I knew the answer to that question, I wouldn't be posting here. I've not had a lot of luck with relationships, rarely ever getting past the six-month mark. Maybe that's because I'm not very good at the give-and-take. Maybe I get a few months into it and realize this person isn't it, and she never will be, so why keep working at it.

Eh, why am I rambling? I need to sleep.

 

You must be a peach of a friend.

I have always been someone who's had tons of guy friends. Only wanted to sleep with a few. If a guy I was dating wanted me to stop talking to one of my best friends, not even my BEST friend, but one of the people who has been there for me every day over the past year...that guy can take a hike.

Lays come and go. This friend of mine? I have every intention of keeping him around. And if you can just say 'goodbye' to your best friend because of a jealous girl, then, well, I think your friend is better off.

 

Um, very insightful.

 

Once got dumped over IM by a girlfriend of 13 months. Good times.

 

Excellent.