I forgot about jury duty today -- how badly am I screwed?

The crawl through a tunnel of shit and come out clean on the other side.

 

Not sure you want to add perjury to the mix, but I'm a scaredy-cat when it comes to federal offenses.

 

What are you worried about, ya foreign bastid?

 

From my experience, if you call and say you're sorry and want to reschedule, they'll be so glad someone's actually going to show up it's no problem.

 

It's not like they could prove it, not like you posted about it on an internet message board or anything...

 

Usually, they will let you go the first time so long as you act contrite and don't show them up.

But in the interest of giving you good prison advice, make sure you have cartons of cigarettes so you can make deals in the joint.

 

i hear the unfiltered smokes are worth more than filters. and don't be gettin' none of that menthol crap.

 

So I show up on a Monday morning for selection.

The judge lets my group of 12 go for the day. "But call back after 5 p.m."

I got a scoop about noon, nailed it and went out to celebrate. I never called the number.

The same fear ran through me. I called the next day - not my number. Next day, not me and again not me.

About two weeks later, I got a $26 dollar check for two days of jury duty with a "Thank You" letter from the county clerk.

It paid for the beers I drank that Monday night. ;D

 

It could be worse. You could be in jail in Cuba.

"My name is Ewing! J.R. Ewing!"