I hate Halloween. 2011 Edition.

No shit. I just bought five bags for $13.

 

Maybe if she drew a walk you would acknowledge a trend in her behavior.

 

Letters squared, I will have pics in a few minutes...

 

I went to BJ's and bought three bags of candy for $10 each. They had 250 pieces in each bag, so that is 750 pieces of candy.

I then went to my local card shop and asked for his common cards, and I wanted $10 worth. He loves that I promote cards by doing this and cut me a deal. I sorted out the players that people would know. Mostly QBs, WRs and RBs, and that gave me about 450 cards. He gave me around 1,000 for $10.

I then bought cheap sandwich bags and stuffed them with what you see above. So $40 and some effort got me about 135 bags. I sorted them while I watched the Pittsburgh/NE game.

 

I pulled out the Steeler and the Redskin players, and the kids dressed like those teams will get an extra Pittsburgh or Washington card.

 

That basket is from 1986.

 

or they should be tasered

 

Drive-by trick-or-treaters suck, suck, suck.

I get it ... some kids don't live in good neighborhoods and some don't live in neighborhoods where its easy to trick-or-treat.

Fine. Park your car somewhere and walk around like everyone else.

But don't drive around my neighborhood, throw the doors open to your van like its the kidnapping scene from Old School, launch your kids out the door, then rinse-repeat down the street ... a street filled with little kids in usually dark costumes that your hillbilly ass doesn't see because you're perpetually trying to one-up Big Daddy Don Garlits every time you hit your Econoline gas pedal.

Dicks.

Aside from that, I don't mind Halloween, and I appreciate those who go beyond department store creativity to spice it up.

I wish I could walk around my neighborhood dressed up like the Walking Dead and just randomly scare the fuck out of people, but that would probably get me arrested.

I also wish there were more fundamentalist Christians in my neighborhood with anti-Halloween displays, just for entertainment purposes. Someone preaching from their lawn that all the kiddies were going to go to hell for their Crunch bars. In its way, that would be scarier than some plastic skeleton hanging off someone's porch.

I digress.

 

Only if the police are doing it.

I respect any kid wanting a Redskin card after the crap they have been given by Snyder for the past decade.

 

Mother Nature screwed with festivities 'round here. Many local municipalities are postponing trick-or-treating until snow and fallen tree limbs can be cleared and power restored.

Given part of the origin of Halloween is All Hallows Eve, the precursor to All Saints Day on Nov. 1, Catholics everywhere should be rising up in protest.

I just want half-price candy tomorrow.

 

I get decorating with skeletons, jack-o-lanterns, kids going out, and whatnot ... but strings of Haloween lights? This day may be jumping the shark.

 

This year will be the first I won't have any of my kids going out to trick or treat.

They've moved into the 'Halloween Party' demo.

Ugh.