I hate Halloween. 2011 Edition.

Re: I hate Halloween.

Hate Halloween. This is my "scrooge" holiday, along with New Year's. Tomorrow the demon spawn children of co-workers traipse through the office until 5, begging for candy. I'll be in at 5:01.

I never understood why adults went nuts. Isn't the history of the day based on children dressing up as ghosts, witches and Spider Man to ward off evil spirits? Where does the MILF next door dressing up as a French maid fall within the tradition of the day? (Sorry, Ty, it's just dumb).

 

Re: I hate Halloween.

I'm looking forward to getting old -- well, older -- so I can, with impunity, stand on the porch and wave my cane and blurt: "You little bastards! Get off my land! Get off my land!"

We don't decorate for it, nor do we fail to buy candy. On the pain-in-the-ass meter, Christmas is worse.

 

Re: I hate Halloween.

The little kids came through our office today. None of the guys in sports had any candy, so none of the kids (except for one little munchkin) came our way.

 

Re: I hate Halloween.

I love it, and I'm especially excited because for the first time since I lived with my folks I'm living in a house. So I'll have trick-or-treaters tomorrow night. I'm sooooooo excited.

 

Re: I hate Halloween.

You should print this out on little cards and hand them out: Cocksuckingmotherfuckingshiteatingbootlickingllamafistingteabaggingbottomfeedingdicksnortingsonsofbitches.

 

Re: I hate Halloween.

Damn good idea, clever.

So glad you're back.

 

Re: I hate Halloween.

 

Re: I hate Halloween.

"Mommy, what's llama fisting?"

 

Re: I hate Halloween.

I lament the disappearing of Mischief Night.

 

Re: I hate Halloween.

I always thought I was the only one, and for similar reasons. (Ex-girlfriend once told me that my problem with Halloween was that I'm an asshole. Well, I am ... but I never saw that as causality.)

When I was in college, 10/31 was easy: I went to the fifth floor of the college library, hijacked an available Ethernet connection and hid in a "study carrel" for four hours. Don't get it now and even as a kid, never really got it. (And the costumes my mom bought for me always blew chunks. Surprisingly, none are listed here. However, I do see a couple here.)

Now? The lights will be off, the car will be in the garage, and I'll be watching a DVD --- possibly something out of the George Carlin box set.

 

Re: I hate Halloween.

Until our son was born my wife and I always headed out for dinner on Hallowe'en. He' seven and loves to go out (will be a pirate after two years as a ninja turtle) so I'll take him out while the wife doles out the candy and I do get to the stuff before the marauding hordes of punks do. (Moddy, the mini Kit Kats are a major score. We had mini Caramilks in the office the other day. Fucking nirvana.)

 

Re: I hate Halloween.

I like the mini Twix bars, but the individual Reese's were -- and still are -- the best.