I should apologize, right?

Apologize, not least because our religion asks us to swallow hard and seek peace even when we’d rather not.

That said, you still need to be firm with them about the issue and to get reassurance that they aren’t going to be lax in the rest of the operation. And given the emotions surrounding people and their parents, I doubt yours was the first outburst heard in that office, or any assisted living office.

 

Also, you aren't wrong that it is insanely fucked up to have your father move in, and *then* realize they need the doctor's form.

That should have been one of the first things on the entire list.

 

I generally find that if I reach the point where I'm asking the question, the answer is probably "yes."
Though it is good to establish your father as the one whose family is paying attention.

 

Wow. Outburst totally understandable. You are the advocate for your dad and I'd assume that at age 86 and living a life that assisted care is the best recourse, the day took a toll on your dad as well. I can truly emphasize with you. An apology is warranted, because as your dad's advocate, you're doing what's in his best interest long term. Reset the table. Good health to you all.

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/KfEKIdFfnA

 

Thanks y'all. I sent an email late last night after I typed the initial post.

"I wanted to apologize to you for my behavior earlier today. I used language and a tone that was not acceptable - regardless of the circumstances.

"I am sorry for that."

And, after all that, it turns out that Dad is probably going to hospice now - despite the assisted living facility saying he was a good fit to live there. So all of that - moving his stuff, moving him, arguing with the staff - was pointless.

His kidneys are shutting down (if they haven't already). His kidney doctor called today with some blood test results and told us he doesn't have much time left.

Thanks again for the advice. For all the BS we sometimes inflict on each other, I love having this place for situations like this. I appreciate all y'all.

 

Damn brother. That’s an entirely new circle of suck. I am so very sorry.

 

I’m sorry. Best wishes.

 

Keeping a good thought for you and your Dad, Inky. I'd hope that I could handle this as well as you have.

 

I liked your post for how you handled it, but damn, sorry about your Dad. Brings back 16 year old memories. Dad went on home Hospice care for five months.

 

I'll be the one to say, fuck apologizing. Those dickheads fucked up and deserve no benefit of the doubt.

(God DAMN this election season is making me cranky. But I still don't apologize.)

Find a new place for your dad, and good luck.

 

Good for you for apologizing. Yes, everyone makes mistakes, we are all human.

As for the workers, it's unfortunate but they are doing a job and you are taking care of your father. Those are two vastly different places of mind.

Sorry to hear about hospice care. My dad went there a couple of years ago. I have to say, the care that the nurses and staff gave him was tremendous and to this day my family and I still talk about how fantastic they were. Hope your dad gets the same treatment.