If every SJ.com handle were suddenly a free agent

PCLoadLetter


(What the fuck does that mean?)

 

PODUNK, NY -- Pickle_Juice's agent announced Saturday that his client would consider a holdout or force a trade if her contract demands are not met by Sxysprtswrtr.
"While we weren't the first pick in the draft, we feel we would have been had we not come out early," agent Drew Rosenhaus said. "We're willing to sit out until we get a reasonable offer and force a trade if necessary."
Juice is asking for a multi-year contract and a guarantee of a starting job, as well as a hefty signing bonus. Sxysprtswrtr general manager YoMamma declined to comment on negotiations, though Mamma did announce she would entertain trade proposals. Mamma is looking to obtain multiple picks instead of veteran handles in an effort to stockpile young, promising talent on the already successful squad.
Concerns surfaced about Juice's ability and longevity shortly after the pick was announced. Several parties have expressed interest in the young handle, though, with MU_was_not_so_hard publicly offering a case of imported beer.



Sorry, I figured the draft needed a holdout, and a draft isn't a draft without a superagent involved.

 

Season 8 DVDs come out Tuesday.

 

Yuengling ain't no import.

Good ol' Pennsylvania beer!

 

Hey, it's an AP story. I had to get something wrong.

 

Actually, I think I would go with Hammer Pants.

 

"Captain Thinskin" is an undrafted free-agent, but he's got the size and speed to be a perennial all-star.

MWM is also a solid choice.........whatever happened to that married white male?

 

Outstanding!
The war room is shutting down in Podunk, NY for the night, however, expect a news release tomorrow.

 

"What was she thinking? She could have gotten that name early in the second round!"

 

Dang. I was gonna go with PCLoadLetter as well.

 

;D

 

Wow, turning down Yuengling is simply unheard of in my neck of the woods.

So on second thought, I don't want to mortgage the future of the franchise so I select:

Simon.

Because everyone has to do what Simon says and if they don't I get to throw their ass out ... so long as Moddy allows me.