If I had $50 million ...

Uno) Clear all debts

Ni) Pay off mom's mortgage

III) Various charitable donations (high school, university, community theater, drum corps, etc.)

Quatre) Catch a game at Goodison Park.

Five) Party with friends

6) Hanami bender in Shizuoka

 

Piss everyone off and never post on here again. Alas, Powerball's only $40 million tomorrow. I guess that will have to wait.

 

And what's the over/under on the number of ingrates who would mutter, "Fuckin' Ridgeway wins $50 million and can only spare a lousy 10 grand for his buddy." 

 

You're probably right. I'd quit and so I wouldn't be fucking them over, I'd give my SE and my other co-worker about $150,000 each so they could quit too.

 

Honestly, I'd contact every brother, sister and parent in my family and my wife's family and tell them to enjoy the house they live in because the mortgage was now paid off. Some, obviously, would get more than others, but all would be mortgage free and that's a gift that'd last for years and years.

Then I'd give them all $25k.

Then I'd buy that big lake house with the boat and waverunners somewhere between our family home bases and give everyone a key.

Then I'd send them all a letter saying to spend the money wisely because unless there was a major medical emergency, the piggy bank was closed.

I'd drop $15m into some investment accounts that took care of my family for at least 100 years if we live that long.

I'd set up college funds/scholarships for all of my kids plus a fund that is theirs the day they graduate from college.

I'd endow a minority/female sports journalism scholarship at my old college and a minority/female med school scholarship at the same place.

My kids' schools (all grades) would have brand new textbooks and supplies. And it would have the best music programs in the state. Violins, pianos, cellos, etc. Regardless of whether my kids wanted to be in the band or not.

$50k to webby/moddy or whoever owns this joint when that $50m windfall happens.

I'd build a startup regional niche sports magazine of some sort and enjoy it.

I'd also buy a Pioneer League baseball team and build a sweet 5,000 seat stadium to play in.

I'd get Lasik done.

I'd send my wife to New York for a week and have a personal shopper get her the ultimate wardrobe.

Forgot one: I'd start up a new weekly paper in the podunk town I grew up in and staff it with one killer editor, one killer ad sales person, and a working lab setting filled with j-school students getting a nice stipend in addition to the college credits for their real-world experience running a newspaper.

and I'd do a hella lot of traveling.

 

One thrust each?

 

Hire me! I'll handle the alcohol sales.

Short-season A ball is the best. Great weather, unspoiled kids, small cities where the team is a big deal. Ogden has a nice new part (at least it did in 1998, my last visit there).

I'll be going through there in a couple weeks, on my way home. I'll give it a shout-out for you!

 

I'll be sitting by the lake in a few weeks, too. We're doing the family vacation at the lake and using grandma and grandpa as a babysitter one night so Uma and I can have one night alone.

But skip that route. Stay south and I'll buy you a pint of St. Provo Girl or Polygamy Porter over lunch.

I'd put my team in Logan.

 

is this after taxes?

I'd retire my parents, and give my brother and sister a million each, plus set up college funds for their kids and my own. then buy some ridiculous house with a moat and hammerhead sharks in it (i always wanted that). I'd freelance on the side and become a full-time hollywood screenwriter. i'd probably buy a few cars, invest a lot of it and then waste some more on fancy trips around the world. me and my woman of course.

 

Would you have trap doors in the house that lead to a marsh full of marshmellows? [/danecook]

 

I'd think you'd be a serious liability to any paper you worked for. "He's got a ton of cash, let's sue him for libel. Maybe he'll pay us to go away..."

I'd find a place to live for the next two years, since I currently don't have a housing situation worked out for grad school.

 

That would work. Nice city, close to Orem and Ogden. Helena drew 724 for its last home game, that franchise could be moved.