If I had $50 million ...

Missoula has been told to get its ballpark completed. The Osprey may be ripe for purchase shortly.

 

There are too many teams in Montana. Helena would lose their team and Casper (which is just plain out of the way for everyone) would join the north division.

South would be Idaho Falls, Logan, Ogden and Orem.
North would have Casper, Billings, Great Falls and Missoula.

Or, if Helena wants to keep the team, maybe I'd add a southern team in St. George or Pocatello.

 

oh, i forgot to mention i'd probably put a hit out on people I really don't like, and then buy off law enforcement to not arrest me. namely the president of iran and the head of hamas. i'd scare a few others, but those two definitely need to die.

 

ohh, what's the matter? your list of hyperconservatives needed editing?

 

I'd buy a little place in a quiet beach just south of San Francisco, invest the bulk of the rest wisely -- lots of muni bonds so I could live off the interest -- do some freelance work and charity work involving kids to keep myself occupied, and surf about three hours a day. At night I'd continue my life-long study on the beers of the world and read for two hours before going to bed.

It doesn't take much to keep me happy.

 

Another reason Canada rules. No tax on lottery winnings.

 

Y'know, as many times as I've thought of what I'd do with a big lottery jackpot, buying a minor league team never ever occured to me. But it's actually a damn good idea.

Also, I'd see what kind of decommissioned ships the Navy had and buy one on the side, re-equip the weapons systems and sail from luxury port to port as a modern-day pirate.

Arr, me matey!

 

From what I've read, you might be able to finance your operation by being a modern day privateer hunting down actual pirates currently plying the seas.

 

Whoops.
Sorry. ;D

Figure on 38 percent tax ... so that's $31 million. Still:

1) Pay off parents' mortgage and any outstanding bills or renovation visions they have/had.
2) Make sure Mom quits her job ... I feel bad enough about my stepfather being at home, so she could stay there guilt-free.
3) Probably give the folks about $1 million up front.

So, worst case, that still leaves $29M

4) Buy myself a house, furnish it with all the goodies.
5) A sports car, maybe a practical vehicle in addition. Three to five cars, tops. No point in 20 cars ... not a minimalist, but excess like that is ridiculous.
6) Season tickets to Carolina Panthers, Carolina Hurricanes ... maybe some season tickets to those silly games in Cameron Indoor Stadium for Mom. Go to a couple of games at Cameron for myself. (about the alma mater ... I'll go eventually, but this year has stunk, stunk, stunk ... )
7) Call the head of the music department at my school and see what can be set up for new uniforms, new instruments and all that jazz ... that was a special bunch of people that saved my sanity more than once. I'd love to finally pay them back.

Invest the other $20-22M and live off the interest. At even something puny like 5 percent a year, that's better than $1M per year.

 

Hookers, blow and single malt scotch.

See what gives out first, me or the money.

 

I'd find a nice piece of and 45-90 minutes from Kansas City and build a decent-sized house. It would have two tennis courts, an indoor gym with full basketball court, and a softball field (complete with water fountains beyond the center-field fence). An indoor batting cage would be next to the clubhouse.

The screened patio would be complete with a hammock and mini-fountain.

I would have a game room with foosball, air hockey and that cool minature hockey game they have at arcades. And maybe a Dig-Dug machine.

I would have a good-sized room with plenty of curios and display cases for my sports memorabilia collection, which would grow considerably. And there's be a little payback to a few eBay bidders who seem to outbid me for everything.

I'd have a 2006 Stratus, or maybe something a little more sporty (but not much). And I'd get an ATV so I could ride around my property.

I would take a job as a sports writer for one of the quality small papers in the area and cover high school sports.

The rest, as they say, is elementary. I would enjoy every free minute with my kids, watching them grow up in a safe neighborhood with plenty of things to keep them busy.

That's about all I want out of life.

 

I used to say I would buy my hometown paper. But I don't think I could anymore.

So instead, I would put $45 million into launching a new newspaper in my hometown. I know where we'd put it, where we'd print it, and who would run a couple of the departments. Bring on the competition.