If you're going to take a leak ... (A rant by MMSW)

You work for a prep bathroom rating service or something?

 

post of the day.

 

Kind of.

 

A good prep reporter always goes out on Friday night with a notebook, rosters, pens and pencils, plus directions to the cleanest stall in the place.

 

JERRY: Anywhere in the city?

GEORGE: Anywhere in the city - I'll tell you the best public toilet.

JERRY: Okay.. Fifty-fourth and Sixth?

GEORGE: Sperry Rand Building. 14th floor, Morgan Apparel. Mention my name - she'll give you the key.

JERRY: Alright.. Sixty-fifth and Tenth.

GEORGE: (Scoffs) Are you kidding? Lincoln Center. Alice Tully Hall, the Met. Magnificent facilities.

 

My ATM machine was there with me. Saw the whole thing. She even jotted down his plate number for me. What a great wife.

*rimshot*

 

High school bathrooms scare me almost as much as the ones in race track campgrounds.

 

Last year, I was in BFE for a game.
I make my ritual halftime trek to the bathroom before kickoff.
The urinal is a basically a metal trough that accommodates about three. In the corner is a toilet with no stall, door or seat.
Sitting top of it, with his shoes and pants damp from the water and piss running all over the floor is a 20-something man. He's halfway holding his pants up to protect what little dignity he has left.
And as people come in and see him - looking startled - he's just shrugs them off.
"Man, I had to go," was all he would say.

 

rebuttal of the day.

 

I try, at all costs, not to step into a high-school bathroom, mostly because I know what I used to do in there when I was a student. A friend of mine and I once decided to see how far we could stand away from the urinals and still hit it. Well, we both did pretty well at first, but then ... we missed and missed and missed. It was funny as hell back then. But now, I only think of that when I need to go to the bathroom around a school.

And that incident was tame compared to others I've heard about or witnessed the aftermath.

 

During my three summers as a forest ranger, I had to puzzle out why people throw used Pampers up into the trees.
And, yes, we used to have to get them down so the stupid raccoons wouldn't choke trying to eat them.

 

Florian and Faunian Bastard ...