I'm proud of my useless knowledge...

You have much more patience than I. I read the first 50 pages, yawned about 100 times and never picked it back up.

 

I know a hell of a lot about cosmetics and products for someone who doesn't wear much makeup.

I am also an amazing hair braider, though I think that's more of a useless skill than useless knowledge.

 

I know a lot about Brook Jacoby.

I also can sing most any They Might Be Giants song.

 

There are many gangsta rappers out there that would disagree with you. After all, it's hard to cap someone when your dreadlock braids are undone.

 

So about Brook's...
Oh, never mind.

 

That's for me to know find out.

 

I know the words to virtually every song ever played on The Backyardigans.

 

I can sing, without prompting, any major song from Blue's Clues. And I love Steve.

 

You're gonna make some lucky much younger nerdboy great guy very happy someday.

 

Did I miss something? Do you have a toddler?

 

Do you have a younger brother?

 

Do you possess the useful knowledge of how to remove makeup stains from cotton shirts? Stripper makeup, I might add. That shit is like paint.