Is the city of Baltimore no better than the Irsays?

That would rock. It would be even better if the Colts left the field in Mayflower-sponsored golf carts.

And even though I hate him and all he stands for, there's an evil part of me that thought it would be hiliarious if Art Modell went to Browns Stadium in a Popemobile and did laps around the stadium flipping the Browns fans off after a Ravens win.

Or perhaps he could get one of those Browns Big Dawg facemasks, unzip his pants, and force it on to his exposed, wrinkled beyond repair, barely-ever-seen-the-light-of-a-vagina Modell member repeatedly. Complete with a Wham! style T-shirt that said, "I've Got Your Dawg Pound Right Here" with an arrow pointing at his groin.

Holy shit, I am SO dead to IJAG, and maybe a few family members too.

 

That is evil, genius and hilarious at the same time.

 

As one who was there . . .

No comparison what Irsay did to Baltimore to what Modell did to Cleveland (truth be told, what Cleveland did to, or didn't do for, Modell).

1. Irsay was an impossible drunk, no one could deal with him. Imagine a guy who was so far gone that his GM, who later had a long NFL career, would call the papers to find out what the boss was doing. Papers wouldn't quote anything he said after 10 a.m. because he would be so drunk you would be dealing with denials for the next week. Only way Indy deal got done is through his lawyer. Balto screwed up, in what today we would consider minor ways: Some church law that prevented games from starting before 2 p.m. Then they tried to pull some eminent domain nonsense, and that's why the Mayflower moving vans left at 11:30 p.m. Biggest immediate loser: the guy who had the Mayflower franchise in Balto. Lost his business.

2. Modell was the NFL's most patient owner.

A. Cleveland promised him a new stadium. B. Cavaliers got one. C. Indians got one. D. Rock and roll hall of fame got one. E. Modell was pissed. F. Cleveland banker Al Lerner, Modell buddy who had bought and sold two Balto banks down the river, convinced Modell that he ought to get mad as hell. G. Once Modell was mad as hell, Lerner flies Modell to Balto, he's greeted like he was a king, decides fuck Cleveland, these people really want a football team. F. Modell moves his team to Balto, leaves name and stuff in Cleveland, unlike asshole Irsay. G. Lerner organizes group that gets a new Cleveland NFL franchise, called the Cleveland Browns. (Ck out Plain Dealer story in early 90s about how Modell was getting screwed; pretty remarkable piece.)

Maybe there are no good guys here, but if you put your emotions aside, which I am obviously able to do, the bad guys, in order, are:

1. Bob Irsay
2. Al Lerner
3. Stupid Cleveland and Balto politicians
4. Art Modell

 

Beat-up little seagull
On a marble stair
Tryin' to find the ocean
Lookin' everywhere

Hard times in the city
In a hard town by the sea
Ain't nowhere to run to
There ain't nothin' here for free

Hooker on the corner
Waitin' for a train
Drunk lyin' on the sidewalk
Sleepin' in the rain

And they hide their faces
And they hide their eyes
cause the city's dyin'
And they don't know why

Oh, Baltimore
Man, its hard just to live
Oh, Baltimore
Man, its hard just to live, just to live

Get my sister Sandy
And my little brother Ray
Buy a big old wagon
Gonna haul us all away

Livin' in the country
Where the mountains high
Never comin' back here
'til the day I die

Oh, Baltimore
Man, its hard just to live
Oh, Baltimore
Man, its hard just to live, just to live

 

Oldhack wrote the stuff I didn't have the chutzpah to write.

 

If the shitty city of Cleveland would have stepped up and built the stadium that was eventually built, Modell wouldn't have moved. The politicians fucked up and Modell made a smart decision.

 

You're not wrong . . . but the manipulative, egomaniacal ways of Old Art were wearing very, very thin.

 

A couple of points to make from a neutral observer:

-- Cleveland football fans are much more dedicated than Baltimore fans. Whining from Baltimore fans this many years later comes off as pathetic.

-- Team records go with the franchise because if they didn't, they would cease to exist if a replacement team doesn't come along. Minneapolis Lakers stats are part of L.A. Lakers' history, not the TWolves. Same goes for Buffalo/LA Clippers, KC/Oakland A's, New Orleans/Utah Jazz, et. al.
No one knows if or when a city losing a team is going to get a replacement franchise, so records are packed up on the proverbial moving van along with the helmets and blocking dummies and fungo bats.

 

To prove how a bad owner indeed can repel fans, Robert Irsay didn't just collapse attendance in Baltimore. He did in Indianapolis, too. After the team moved, it got 137,000 applications for season tickets. In about four years' time, the Colts were down to something like 40,000 season-ticket holders.

 

do even all you sad-sack cleveland folk actually believe that art modell ever truly wanted to leave cleveland? don't be ridiculous.

i've got zilch to say in defense of irsay, a truly despicable lout. modell, though, not so much -- except to all you whining cleveland folks, whose cherished city let modell down in every which way.

there. that should give all you dawg pounders plenty of ammo to chew on for a couple of pages. you're welcome!! 8) 8) 8)

 

So Modell didn't have a choice? He had to go to Baltimore? No, he could have kept the team in Cleveland, where it was still beloved despite its mediocre record on the field. He was making tons of money in Cleveland. He got greedy and wanted more, which he probably would have gotten from Cleveland had he been patient.

And had Baltimore been granted an expansion franchise, Modell simply would have moved the team to Nashville or another city.

Modell didn't want Cleveland. He wanted more money.