It's 5-7-5, dammit!

Let's go to the beach
and climb into a wet suit
Hang 10, surfer babe.

 

A book snob am I
Thought DaVinci Code blew chunks
Predict movie bombs

 

Jailed on rollerskates...
Criminals crowding around...
Shoop says, "Who wants gum?"

 

Moving really sucks
How many times do I schlep
My shit up the stairs?

 

Am baking a cake
Reduced fat chocolate bundt
The shit is the bomb

 

None of you can count.
So many haiku miscues,
Sick, you all make 'Toum.

Bad breaks abounding;
Six syllables? Confounding!
Denseness resounding.

So bad, it's gotten.
Drove 'Toum out of retirement.
For one-night scolding.

Learn to count, I plead.
Use fingers, employ toes, too.
Not that fucking hard.

 

Toum's wrath abounding.
Zweibel's alive? Astounding!
Board takes a pounding

 

Brown thread has jumped shark
Now resembles Spelling show
Just waiting to die

 

LeBron's Cavaliers
are going to get anal fucked
without the K-Y

 

"You're such a side hog!"
Can't bear to hear this again
Fire this actress

 

Commitmentphobia
Why must boys play that dumb game
They can all fuck off

 

Haiku: good release.
But commitmentphobia
Has six syllables