"I've reached that age when..."

I spent my first two days of vacation ...

Gassing and maintainance of my vehicle, raking the front and part of the backyard, washing and detailing my vehicle, then washing and detailing the SUV and full-size truck of my mother and her husband.

And - I don't like admitting this - I'm tired. But now I can start enjoying the break.

 

I dunno. You gotten a good look at Matthew Broderick lately?

 

I’ve reached the age when I have to remind myself that the pretty female pro wrestlers are young enough to be my daughters.

I’ve also reached the age when I realize I’m as old as Carroll O’Connor in the first few seasons of All In The Family.

 

I’ve reached the age where I see my 24 yr old come home with his GF and I envision a next generation.

I’ve reached the age where hoops scares me now because I don’t want to get hurt and can’t golf.

I’ve reached age where college tuition is OVER!! Porsche here I come !!!

 

We must be related somehow because not only does my mother do this, she banks online and scolds me for not doing so. I still get a paper check for some of my freelance writing and go to o s physical bank to deposit it because it’s next to the grocery store. “Why? Download the app and you can scan it.”

 

I'm about 50/50 online and writing paper checks. But one thing I'll never do is give access to my bank/debit card. If there is a problem, I want to discuss it BEFORE I pay, not try to get the money back once it has been siphoned out of my account.

 

Sometimes I forget what day of the week it is and am only reminded of it when I look at my pill case.

I actually said to my kids recently, “Falling down at my age is no joke.”

In the “oldest dad at school” category, my brother is only a year older than me and has a grandson older than my daughter.

 

I ask a hot staffer at the arcade prizes counter for 'Poop Slime' for my kid (cost: 400 stubs) and it doesn't faze either one of us.

 

I had to pick my daughter up at school a couple weeks ago. Walked to the entrance behind someone who looked to be my age. He gets to the door and hits the buzzer. The secretary asks him who he's here to pick up. "I'm here to pick up my grandson, who is going home sick."

Fuck.

 

My body knows I am 52. Most days, my brain thinks I'm 25. Many times, that puts me in some situations that take a few days to sort out.
It beats the heck out of the alternative.

I'm also at a point where I don't give a shit about cracking a beer on the beach at 7 a.m. We all die. Enjoy the ride.

 

1986 was a long time ago....