Jones gives good blog?

A. Chris Jones is a sexy beast.
B. I love that people think Chris wrote that, about his past sex partners, and didn't at least alert his wife to the fact he was writing it. Or that she would think he was talking about her.
C. Fuck Daulerio.

 

I actually have a question for Chris.

Obviously, Daulerio's total fucking dickbaggedness is not in dispute. But did you have some sort of innocuous encounter with him or Nick Denton or Scocca that caused the whole Gawker empire to not like you?

 

Not at all, Uncle. The opposite, in some ways.

Sorry if this is long, but I've been turning this over in my head all day.

The Scocca stuff—which I'm willing to concede was pointless and dumb—predates his arrival at Deadspin. He was with Slate then. Jack Dickey at Deadspin wrote a very kind post when I used the words "Montreal Massacre" in a column, and I tweeted my thanks to him. I've never met Drew Magary, but I would certainly describe us as friendly. We email about stuff quite a bit. Same with Tommy Craggs, who I have met, and enjoyed meeting. (I wrote a post at Deadspin during the Daulerio roast, mostly about Tommy, and I meant what I said in it.) And my only encounter with Daulerio before today was a very kind email exchange about something I wrote.

So, no, is the answer to your question. Which is part of why I'm baffled by today. I've never met John Cook, never had any kind of brush with him that I'm aware of (unless I somehow badmouthed him on here and didn't realize it). And I get that when you put yourself out there, you're going to get caught sometimes, the way I do here on occasion. I've gotten better about taking that stuff, I think, and understanding that it's part of the deal. I'm not going to change who I am, so I either learn to accept it or I don't.

But the stuff today... Even when dealing with certain people, I guess I assume certain rules are being followed. Today's post was 1) totally untrue, breaking every journalistic rule and 2) totally vicious, breaking every rule of basic humanity.

So much so that again, my principal feeling today, after Lee was so graceful about it, was confusion. Like even now, I'm having a hard time believing it actually happened.

It's like that celebrity sex post they did, where the fundamental premise was just totally wrong, and you're sitting there going, What?

I emailed back and forth with Daulerio about it today.

I started by writing: "Bringing my wife and kids into a goofy thing really, really sucks. That's really lousy. Sincerely."

He wrote back, in part: "Oh, come on now. It's more observational than nasty."

Um, what? I don't even get that worldview.

I'll say this: As much stupid anger as I had toward Tom Scocca during our thing (which has ended, I think, since he edited the roast post I made on Deadspin and had a laugh about it, or at least I hope it's over and done with), and as much animosity as I'm guessing he felt about me (or maybe he felt none of it was personal, I don't know), I can guarantee that he never would have brought my wife and kids into it, because he also has a wife and kids and knows that they're out of bounds.

I mean, it's just something you don't do.

So now I'm like, What do I do after today?

Like I told Daulerio, I'm in a no-win spot. I spit the dummy and stop talking to the Gawker/Deadspin guys, in which case I'm in yet another Internet grudge war that I don't want anymore, that I'm trying my best to avoid, and they inevitably hammer me on the sites, or I just let it pass and feel like I've tacitly let John Cook think that it's okay to do what he did, when, if I'm being honest, I think it's probably the worst thing anyone's done to me in my professional career. I mean, in terms of awful things you could write, I guess you could make fun of Charley's autism or something—in which case you will be murdered—but I can't think of much worse than bringing my wife into play. Nothing like this has ever, ever happened before.

Like I say, I'm totally, totally confused. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do. There are clearly no rules anymore, so I just am totally without anchor.

 

By the way, I need to say thanks to you guys. Sincere thanks. I've had one of those days where you kind of doubt everything you think you know. There are good people here, and I know and appreciate that.

 

typef,

I wouldn't sweat those guys one bit. Be the bigger man, which should not be hard.

You are fantastically blessed to have a wife that is "graceful" with all that.

You're so far ahead of the game nothing else matters.

 

He is, and I still have a photo of his ass from eons ago to prove it.

I think Ace said it best.

 

That is a very interesting anecdote about Daulerio -- observational, not nasty?

I used to think he was going to wake up one day and realize what a sorry, empty existence he lives. But I no longer think that's the case.

 

I don't know what could possibly convince someone to write a blog post like that (Gawker, not Jones).

I don't know what could possibly convince the commenters, presumably grown-ass men, to personally attack a fellow grown-ass man in the manner they did.

Anyone who has ever written a column - as I'm sure many of you can attest - has gotten the, "You look like a child molester" email. Doesn't make it right or acceptable. At Gawker and Deadspin, it's fucking encouraged.

 

Actually, Gawker has its fair share of female commenters. As does that post. At least, a fair share claiming to be female. Not sure if that makes it worse or not.

 

Observational? Jesus. What a fuckhead Daulerio is.

 

This shit bothered me a great deal today. Like, I was literally full of rage about it as I sat in the optometrist's office waiting for them to fix a pair of glasses I sat on. The problem with these horrible, horrible people is that you can't win. If I walked into a bar and John Cook was sitting there and I knew it was him, I'd bounce his head off the rail without remorse. But then I'd be the macho brute who got violent with someone for something they said on the Internet, and Gawker could write a whole series of posts about what a neanderthal I was/am. And they'd win, over and over. But trying to publicly embarrass someone's wife unprovoked really is something that should result in you getting your head bounced off a bar. That's a part of society I'm completely comfortable with. And the few nights in jail probably wouldn't change my decision, which is why it's a good thing for my wife and kids that I won't walk into a bar where that dude drinks and laughs in a whinny that I suspect sounds like a goddamn My Little Pony with his other douchey friends.

I guess there will always, always be someone on the Internet willing to cross a line for snark or mockery purposes. There literally are no lines anymore, and someone like AJ Dauliero has decided his own misery should be encouraged and inflicted upon the world. I really think to write some of the stuff they do, you have to be a fundamentally unhappy person. Like sad and lonely deep down, even if you put on a front that you're hilarious and just giving the army of trolls exactly what they want. Over and over again, you read stories about people leaving Gawker after burning out there because they're just goddamn miserable. They look upon their shitty existence, their three and four posts a day (for which they're scraping together about $40,000 a year) and eventually realize how empty it is and how fleeting it is to be Internet famous for a day just because you mocked someone and got a few yuks for page views.

I can't tell you to try not to care, Chris, because that would be like telling you not to breathe. You're always going to care. So I don't know what the answer is. But these hateful people, these vile and bitter malcontents who belittle those who create and take risks, they only feed on your reaction. They want you to commit the cyber equivalent of bouncing their head off a bar and kicking them in the ribs. That's the only way they can maintain an erection, and feed their habit to live another day. If you so much ans walked into the same room as this Cook guy, he'd probably drop the Internet baddass shtick 20 minutes in and be sobbing within an hour. But these trolls will always exist. Another will rise to take his place soon enough.

So just know that you can't win. Not the way you like. In the real world, you've already won anyway, just by doing what people like this guy would KILL to do for a living. That doesn't mean you don't fight some fights anyway, cause fuck them. And there are a lot of people here and elsewhere who will solider up by your side, and damn the consequences. You know this. But any public reaction by you is still the fuel they need to justify their dark and twisted approach to life. So run away. But bail me out of prison when I punch that guy in the throat anyway.

 

Fuck 'em. Like you said, you can't win, so why talk to those assholes?

Forget about giving them the satisfaction, because they're going to do what they do, whether you talk to them is probably immaterial. You don't think they won't throw someone under the bus whether they have a "relationship" with them or not? They'll do it in a second.

Their satisfaction means nothing. Give yourself the satisfaction of telling them they can suck your left nut.

They're internet bullies. So fuck 'em. They don't deserve any kind of thought-out response.

Edit: Clicked send right after Double Down sent his post. Sorry if there's any repeat.