Jones gives good blog?

OK, I came out of my hiding place for this. Quick answer? Jones' story was every last bit as trolly as anything Gawker throws up, and he got the rise out of people that he, or at least Esquire, wanted. The piece was stupid and fat-headed and absolutely aching to be mocked, and if he weren't such a friend to this here messageboard, we'd be kicking that thing into next week.

(And I like Jones!)

 

Yeah, I like Jones, too. I guess I just won't let him bang me.

 

No. Just... No.

It was... Eh, it was assigned, I would guess.

It wasn't fucking spiteful. It wasn't mean. It didn't bring someone's wife into a discussion.

No comparison.

 

I feel like deliberately insulting half the human population falls somewhere within the bounds of "trolly," don't you?

 

I wasn't trying to be trolly, Sir Headless. (Welcome!) I wasn't really trying to be anything. This will sound terrible, but I was working on a hard 7,000-word piece for May (REDEMPTION!) and had this to knock out. Given the title, I tried to be funny. I mean, I had 300 words. Nuance wasn't going to happen. Anyway, I can totally understand why you think it sucked. It's not going in my scrapbook, either. But it wasn't trolly.

Sometimes people think more planning goes into these things than really does. Like we're in total control of everything.

It's a strange truth of journalism—same is true of movies, of books—that I've never been able to crack: I have spent months working on good pieces that have come out to the sound of a sad trombone, and then something like this, which I probably gave all of an hour to, goes bonkers. I never would guessed that in a million years. I had kind of forgotten I'd written it, to be honest.

Did I mention my big feature that's coming in the May issue? It's pretty good. Lots of reporting, worked hard on the writing, I hope it's moving and maybe even a little important. And I'll be lucky if half as many people read it.

 

Is it about sad trombones?

 

Also: One thing about the Gawker item. Isn't it obvious that Cook brought up Jones' family to make the point (however coarsely) that Jones has, um, absented himself from the fleshly marketplace for the last however many years? And that maybe he's not the most qualified guy on earth to comment on the sexual prowess of the modern woman? I really didn't read it as a personal assault.

I look forward to the feature, Jones.

 

No.

 

No. That was not obvious.

Also, isn't Cook married?

And a douchebag?

 

What? In ten years, every woman is suddenly awesome in bed? This is an exciting development. Did something happen in a lab somewhere? I NEED TO KNOW.

 

I was awesome in bed 10 years ago too, Chris.

 

They put their cell phones on vibrate now.