Just... stressed

Please allow me a moment to thank all of you. I know in my heart I knew all of this, but it was immensely helpful to hear outside of our bubble.

You are all correct. And perhaps what I'm most proud of with my (not-so-little-anymore) girl is her resiliency. This is what she's chased since she's been 8, and she knows how it feels not to get a part. She knows what audition life is like. I'm not against participation trophies, but that's one thing she's NEVER gotten in her life. Everything has been earned.
She gets it.

We know, ultimately, she'll be where she's comfortable and happy. And we know her life will be a series of ups and downs.

But, she's willing to chase. To try. To dream. To be an artist.

I'm a proud fucking dad every day. Chase, kid. See what happens.

 

This observation may be too late, but focussing on a city rather than any school might help. Chicago had a great theatre scene and has improv programs. Obviously NYC has the same stuff, but both cities are expensive.

I know that actors come disproportionately from certain schools, but there are plenty of others that are dropouts or went to some random state school.

 

Also, there is a lot of other stuff she could do. Become a writer, director, a producer.

I don't want to seem coldly practical, but studying the business might help if she wants to do something else related.

 

Heard a really great homily the other day from church about anxiety - about the things we get anxious about are always about things we can cannot change about the past - or the things in the future we can't control. We never get anxious about the things in the present that we have control over.
My senior quote in high school was from noted philosopher Mickey Rivers. "There ain't no use worrying about stuff you can't control, because if you can't control it - there ain't no use worrying about it. And there ain't no use worrying about stuff you can control, because if you can control it, there ain't no use worrying about it."

 

I prefer "10 percent of life is what happens to you. The other 90 percent is how you react to it."

 

You go, dad!

 

I remember being a nervous wreck when I was applying to grad school. I didn't get into my first choice school and cried my eyes out for two days.

Then I got accepted to my second choice school. And it was an amazing experience. There's so many things in play when you apply to schools that you just have to let go. Which is easier said than done, I know. Sending the good vibes to the UNC household and the universe that all shakes out the way it should.

 

Here's the point that I fail to understand, people assume that if one thing were to change for the perceived better (a "better" school, etc.), then life is better. However, I don't believe that you can just assume that if one thing changes, everything else stays in situ; other changes might happen for the worse. So in a nutshell, IMHO be thankful for what you have and enjoy the journey.

UNCGrad, when I heard my kids' friends describe applying for a theatrical/musical spot at a school, I cringed; having to set up your own audition production at some distant location. Best to you and your daughter.

 

I know that as a parent you have to have some concern about her degree not being in something that is more likely to get her employed. All you can do is let her run her life and try to support her. My wife's niece was a theater kid who became an artist (paint and sculpture) and has made a living as a working artist for the last twenty-five years. Her husband got his MFA and sells some work as well, although his primary occupation is teaching art at the International Baccalaureate school here.

There are careers out there. Remember too how you (or people around you) went to school thinking you wanted to do one thing but then changed majors because something you were exposed to was way more interesting.