Kids reporting scores

My all-time favorite goes something like this:

Me: What was their record?
Coach: I don't know. Hey, Bob what was that team's record?

Your the goddamn coach, if you don't know, how is Bob supposed to know?

 

Of course the other side of the coin is that a lot of papers have kids (teenagers, anyway) taking prep calls a couple of nights a week and I'm betting there are more than a few coaches who get annoyed by that.

 

I don't recall ever taking a score from a kid, but I've had a couple coaches or coaches' flunkies that didn't know what in hell they were doing...

 

Bob's a smart guy.

 

"We lost 2 to 6."

 

A lot of coaches don't know they're record, especially when it's not a pretty one...

 

It was never a coach's kid, but having a giggling 16-year-old girl statistician call in and saying, "we had a 12-team swimming invitational - boys and girls - and I'm calling in the results" was always a highlight on a Saturday night.

"You take the top eight places, right, in all 56 events?"

"No, just the winner and runnerup."

Giggle, giggle. "Oh, no, the coach won't be happy."

 

Tell it to your therapist.

 

Grr. That pisses me off just to read it.

 

Now this sort of thing I've encountered more than I'd like. They'd insist, say, on reporting their 15-0 blowout baseball game with 22 hits and insist that they run through every kid that had a hit or scored a run or picked his nose in the dugout or whatever...or that some kid "made a great contribution" without being specific....

Or worse than "we lost 2 to 6" - "The score was 2 to 6." Who fucking won?

 

Or better yet, who fucking played in what fucking sport?

 

They never got far enough to give me a score without telling me who they were and who they played. I'm looking for that as soon as I establish that someone is trying to call in a score.