Landis and performance enhancing drugs

You'll turn into this:

 

for starters, a much, much larger paycheck

 

See, that's where the comparison falls flat, in my estimation.

Most of us don't do this for the money. We do it because we love it, or because it was the only thing we were ever good at, or because we like hanging around a bunch of degenerate jagoffs.

Now, if there were a pill that could make me into Ernest Hemingway, I'd have to think.

But to get a better paying gig in journalism? No chance.

 

sportschick,

the way you talk you better be the hottest broad in the world.