Major League is on ...

I think it's .341, 48 HR, 121 RBI.

Not 100% positive, though.

 

Yep.

 

I don't know how this guy keeps his mind on baseball with all the paternity suits and all...

 

When this guy sneezes he looks like a party favor.

 

Juuuust a bit outside. Tried the corner and missed.

 

"We don't know where Hayes played last year, but I'm sure he did a hell of a job."

And this may be blasphemy to say, but the last time I watched Major League II, I remember Uecker being even funnier than he was in the original. Haven't committed the lines to memory, but if I remember right, there's one scene where he's completely sloshed and passes out in front of the mic.

 

Not blasphemy at all.

There's a line where Uecker's calling the game and the Indians get into a brawl — with each other.

At one point, one of the players starts pounding Rick Vaughn, and Uecker says something to the effect of, "Well, the whole league's been hitting him this season."

 

Ball four. Ball eight. And Vaughn has walked the bases loaded on 12 consecutive pitches. How can these guys lay off pitches that close?

 

No way that guy wins the Triple Crown. Too fat to leg out the infield hits he'd need to win the batting crown.

 

I can't believe no one has quoted this one yet.

"COME ON DORN! Get in front of the damn ball don't gimmie this Olay bullshit!"

(Sp on 'olay'?)

 

That's a reference to bullfighting, so it would be Ole.

 

"Take it away, Monte. I'm in the bag."