Marge vs. the Monorail: The best Simpsons ever?

That is one hilarious episode. Milhouse's expression when Lisa mentions soiled mattresses is worth the price of admission alone.

Joe Banks, eighty-two years young, has come to this pond every day for the past seventeen years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery. The ducks...were gone. Some say the ducks went to Canada. Others say, Toronto. And some people think, that Joe used to sit down there, [camera moves to another nearby pond] near those ducks. But it could be, that there's just no room in this modern world, for an old man...and his ducks.

Bart: Oh, Lisa, maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong! The important thing is, veterans deserve a day to honor them!
Lisa: [through clenched teeth] They have two!
Bart: Well maybe they should have three. I'm Bart Simpson.

And, oh my goodness, I just realized that's the one with Mojo the servant monkey. That might be the funniest subplot ever: Homer gets this genius monkey and turns it into a lazy, slothful, near-death lump of nothing. Pray...for...Mojo.

 

Bart's People ruled.

 

A friend can recite all the words to Homer's version of "End of the World" from the episode where REM makes a cameo.
Should I be proud of him or ashamed?

My fave Simpsons line ever wasn't even uttered by a main character. From "Homerpalooza," an exchange between Gen Xers as they watch Homer taking bowling balls from a cannon to the gut:

Teen1: "Oh, here comes that cannonball guy. He's cool."
Teen2: "Are you being sarcastic, dude?"
Teen1, sadly: "I don't even know anymore."

 

Best line from Homerpalooza:

Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.

Homer Simpson, Smiling Politely.

 

And during Bart's "Joe's Ducks" montage, it cuts to Burns and Smithers, watching on a wall-size television.

Burns: (sniffling, wiping away a tear) "Do you think there's a chance that my plant killed those ducks?"

Smithers: "There's no 'if' about it, sir."

Burns: (sniffling) "Ex-cellent."

 

Two of my favorite episodes involve Marge and Homer contemplating cheating on the other.

"Colonel Homer" (the one where Homer manages country singer Lurleen Lumpkin) is vintage Simpsons. Tremendous.

And "Life on the Fast Lane", with Marge and Jacques quickly becoming close while bowling, is another gem. My favorite episode from the first season. "Four onion rings!"

 

Hey Homer, what'll I tell the boss?

Tell him I'm going out to the backseat of my car with the woman I love and I'm not coming back for 10 minutes.

 

It's impossible for me to pick a favorite. That's like asking me to choose between my children. However, the ones that have always stuck with me are:

1. The Valentine's episode with Lisa and Ralph
2. 23 Stories about Springfield
3. Homerpalooza
4. Itchy and Scratchyland
5. Fat Homer

 

One great episode I'd forgotten about was on here yesterday:

Bart Gets an Elephant.

 

Stompy.

 

Stampy.

 

WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?
WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?