Mass shooting on campus in Oregon

I'd think they see how society is with sex, and then see themselves as 26-year-old virgins and wondering what the heck is wrong with them. They think everyone is going around and looking at them as virgin losers, which feeds into their frustration, and they feel even more pressure, which hinders their ability to relax and be successful with women.
Losing their virginity is one less thing for them to feel bad about themselves.

 

Beyond being loved, I think it's about the sense of societal worth they think sex would give them. I believe we discussed this after the last sexual frustration mass murder--more than ever before, today's kids are inundated from the earliest ages with the message that sex is what matters and that you're nothing if you're not getting any. TV, movies, radio, internet, video games ...it's everywhere and always now, can't escape it. Those who can't get laid end up feeling like society as a whole has rejected them.

But you're right that a hooker would not help. The sense of worth comes from being wanted the way other guys are. That doesn't come from a purchase price.

 

Also, not for nothing: Sex is fun and desirable and people really, really want to do it. I sure wanted to before I finally did. And it also seemed impossible to obtain.

 

Been married close to a quarter of a century and it still seems that way!

 

You don't have to be married to feel that way!

Also of note, the Olympic runner hooker was prized for providing the GFE to johns. I looked up GFE, not at work, and it was the girlfriend experience.

I was expecting something much more disgusting so I was somewhat relieved. Anyway, it meant to me that people still want a human connection, something beyond the physical, so paying for the first time would be viewed by some, if not most, as a failure.

 

I've never paid for sex*, but I would think most men wouldn't give a shit once the deal started going down. I had buddies who went off in the Army or the National Guard right out of high school, and they didn't seem at all ashamed about having their first time be with a sex worker. As they were talking about it, I (still a virgin back then) was kind of jealous.

I think the whole "these guys never got laid" talk is just so much post hoc hooey. These guys were obviously very mentally troubled, and if it hadn't been virginity that drove them over the edge, it'd have been something else. Alternatively, the mental illness that led to them doing these things could be what kept them from losing their virginity; their virginity was a symptom of their illness, not the cause of their rampage.


*No, really, I haven't! Scout's honor!

 

If you've ever bought a dinner, or movie tickets or concert tickets or a Valentine's Day gift you've paid for sex.

 

Yeah, I'm familiar with all that. Has always seemed kinda misogynistic to me, so I don't go there.

 

There was a story at Slate or Salon or one of those sites recently that talked about how men paying on dates is a tradition that has long outlived its usefulness.

 

I'm sure there was...

 

No, the whole "You're paying for it whether you want to admit it or not" bit seems misogynistic to me.

 

And I completely agree.