Mattresses

The Mob hoards them.

 

I've deleted 27 different jokes.

 

So, how's the new mattress, Moddy?

 

You need a future ex-girlfriend to break it in right.

 

That's their pattern, and I suppose part of their business plan. They beat the brakes off their nearby competition, then buy them out but keep the store open. It does not seem to matter if they are very close together.

 

I don’t think the mattress came with game.

 

Pulled the trigger on a Tuft & Needle queen today after hearing rave reviews from some family members.

My current mattress is more than 20 years old, which is ridiculous, I know. Time for a damn upgrade. Hope it lives up to the hype. Thankfully they have a 100-night guarantee so if it sucks I'm off the hook. I'm suspecting it won't, though.

 

Great idea.

 

This alone might cut the divorce rate by a quarter to a third.

 

Spent a couple nights at a friend’s place in the spare bedroom. The memory foam mattress... oh my god. I haven’t slept like that in a long time. Time to replace the old one, but I just bought a regular bed frame last year and don’t want to get rid of it so soon. Apparently they don’t work with memory foam mattresses.