Me, a 12-pack of Coors, a razor and a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide

Not true. This thread is fine in and of itself, without assistance from illustration.

 

You just described my stepfather if you slice off about three inches off the height.
He wears a Size 8 wide shoe.

Uh, most can tell we're not biological. He doesn't have much of a neck and bricks for feet. In build type, we couldn't be much more different. I may not be tall by modern standards, but in my family I would qualify as "Which one of us is not like the others?"

The sad part is one idiot supervisor of my stepfather's years ago tried to connect us. Obviously, his eyes weren't properly functioning.

 

Dad?

 

Please do not say 'slice' in Chef's presence. Didn't he come close enough to killing himself last night?

 

There's something ironic about a guy named Chef convincing me never to eat again. Well, at least not lemon pudding.

 

Wow. Just when I think SportsJournalists.com can't get any better, this thread comes along. I'll never look at a hobo or captain crunch the same again. Well done to all.

 

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, apparently, the sheer brilliance that is Chef did some damage to his toe the ohter night, which caused more swelling, more infection, and much much more pain.

The wife looks at it and says, "What the fuck?".......

So, she proceeds to say "You better get a towel to bite on, because I'm getting all that infection out of there."

My response to this was........"It's not gonna hurt that bad......I did all this the other night and didn't bite on anything."

She says "Trust me"......So, she starts digging, and Jesus T. Christ at a newspaper stand, was she ever right. All sorts of stuff came out of that toe.

To make a long story shorter, the toe is fine. The swelling, lemon pudding, everything is gone.

 

A grateful nation rejoices.
It vomits first, of course, but then it rejoices.

 

Glad to hear the ordeal is over...

 

I'm not.

Chef in pain was funny. Chef not in pain = end of thread.

 

Chef has some beer at the house. Maybe we could have drunk-posting Chef.