Me, a 12-pack of Coors, a razor and a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide

Now here you go again
You say you want your freedom
Well who am I to keep you down
It's only right that you should
Play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat...drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost...
And what you had...
And what you lost
Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say...Women...they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean...you'll know
Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself
It's only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams and...
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?
Dreams of loneliness...
Like a heartbeat...drives you mad...
In the stillness of remembering what you had...
And what you lost
What you had...
And what you lost
Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say...Women...they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean...you'll know

 

They just lead to disappointment, frustration and bad hair days.

 

I just heard thunder, but it's not raining.

 

You mean, your hair doesn't look like what's in your avatar?

I don't know if I can live with the disappointment.

 

Players only love you when they're playing.

Hence, Mikey's been retired for 10 years.

Thank you. I'll be here all week.

 

I can't find my mousse.

 

I think I found it.

 

A couple of weeks ago I was stuck in an airport bar in Phoenix and one of the TVs had the Eric Byrnes show on. I have to say, it was reasonably entertaining.

 

I almost just spit Johnnie Walker on the screen.

Holy shit. Best line I've read all night.

 

Suddenly I can dream again.

 

Chef. Did you make it to the doc's today? How did things go?

 

The neck is fine.

The toe, however, is a painful little story.

I don't know if I mentioned this in my "Day that sucked" thread or not, but......as I was umpiring Saturday, one of the catchers......let's just call him Pablo, took a step back, and accidentally stepped RIGHT ON THE FUCKING TOE, WITH CLEATS ON.

I let out a Lewis Black like "SON OF A BITCH!"...he turns around and says, with the strong hint of Corona and Tacos on his breath......."Oh, my bad blue."

Fast-forward to last night.....one of the players on my co-ed team decided to bring her 1 or 2 or 8 little chiquitos into the dugout, and one of these little bastards accidentally dropped a 34-28 DeMarini right on THE SAME FUCKING TOE.

I swear, if this thing gets hit again......you all better get ready for the drunk-thread of all drunk-threads as I will post pictures of me in a ridiculously drunken state either A). Digging this thing all the way out of my foot, or B.) Chopping the sumbitch off.