Me, a 12-pack of Coors, a razor and a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide

Yeah......the toe is properly secured in a band-aid.

After I umpire 11 slow-pitch softball games in a row Saturday, it will probably need to be looked at.

 

Just drink until you almost pass out, hit the corn with a hammer and get all the goo out of it.

Then pass out.

 

You know, Chef. If your wife really loved you, she'd be the one with the razor.

 

...and she'd maim you, then giggle about it.

 

Oh man. I can't believe I missed all of that. I should really have this thread set to a Google alert.

 

OK.

Something's giving in tonight.

I'm good and drunk.

The toe has been fine for the past 4 weeks, but for the past week or so, has been giving me fits.

So, I have contacted me doctors, (pictured below), but they were otherwise detained.



So, now........I dig.

I've tried the Doc Scholls shit....nada.....occasionally picking the top off it.....zip.

So......I'll attempt this with a variety of weapons......nah.....surgical devices.

A razor blade, bottle of peroxide, 2 towels.....one to mop up the mess, one for me to bite on......and lots more beer.

I'll alert the masses when the first incision begins.

God Bless Me.

 

If you don't get it this time, I'm going to come cut the sumbitch off entirely.

Start cutting, Hawkeye.

 

A Spies Like Us reference, I love this thread.

Now, I will incise

 

5 minutes, kids.

Soaking the foot in hot water right now.

 

As your attorney, I advise you to begin drinking heavily.

 

So glad I am working graveyard tonight

 

Gonja?