Merry Christmas Everyone!

So, this would be the Laz-Y-Boy-Girl-Girl.
Careful what the lady friend finds out there. You don't want to come home with something that bleach don't reach.

 

I'm glad ex is getting to shoot his shot now. The world is a wonderful place.

(This is coming from a guy who talks a lot bigger game than he plays.)

 

My neck of the woods, we call this "Alligator mouth, hummingbird ass."

 

I hope everyone's holiday season has good things for them. The lines have been busy, busy, busy. I had a low key celebration between shifts and got a letter from a long-lost friend on Christmas Eve. Some sparkliness to go with the day.

 

Shoot, a fella could have a good time in Vegas with all those things.

 

Perhaps Musberger has a set price to call the action from a corner of the room.

 

Is he on Cameo?

 

*Musburger, dammit!

 

"You're looking LIVE inside the Salone Suite at the beautiful Bellagio Hotel and Casino in Sin City.....Las Vegas, Nevada. Hi everybody, I'm Brent Musburger, and we have a little bit different of a broadcast this evening. You see, our strapping young man right here....well, you see.....he's living the life that a lot of people....especially middle-aged men....would give their big toe for."
"You see, he's got 2.....yes 2 smoking hot females on their way to his suite right now, and they've texted him from the downstairs lobby that they are on their way up to the room, that he needs to get away from the slot machine that he's parked himself at, and that he needs to be the pickle in their tuna on rye sandwich and he needs to be in that room right now."
"I'm joined here by Kirk Herbstreit, and you know Herbie, I'm sure that you bedded your share of hot young coeds at Ohio State, but were you ever fortunate enough for two at the same time?"
"Well Brent, the only time I was joined by a third person in the room was when Coach Cooper would occasionally substitute me out, and put in Joey Galloway. After all, I may have been the slowest person on the team, and Joey was the fastest. I would get the girls all started up, and "The Finisher" as we called him, would complete the mission."
"Well Herbie, this promises to be some event taking place here in a minute. Before we introduce the ladies, let's check in with Special Bedside Analyst for tonight, legendary pornstar Ron Jeremy....what's the atmosphere over there Ronnie?"
"Well guys, our fearless leader is furiously downing his 3rd plate of Oysters Rockefeller right now. It's a good damn thing he's opted for the safe option of oysters instead of the much much riskier Indian Food. The last thing anyone would want to see with all of this pussy in the room is a bunch of shit."
"I couldn't have said it better myself Ronnie."
"Folks, before we get underway here, we're going to pause 10 seconds for stations to identify themselves....here on the CBS Radio Network."
"YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE BEST IN SPORTS TALK RADIO ON LAS VEGAS ONLY HOME FOR THE BEST IN SPORTS TALK RADIO. SPORTS RADIO 1140. LAS VEGAS."
"Alright folks. The ladies have emerged from the bathroom here each wearing nothing but bath robes. Boy, the brunette sure resembles that Katherine Webb. If I was 40 or so years younger, I would have showed that little philly a few things. The second member in our bout this evening is Bethany. She was just picked up by our look-alike Katherine down at Treasure's as she was finishing off a 3-song triple play that consisted of "Girls-Girls-Girls", "Cherry Pie" and "You Shook Me All Night Long". Boy, that Angus Young could sure belt out the tunes, huh Herbie?"
"Our strapping young man is finishing texting his bookie his final few bets for the upcoming weekend.....It sure seems like he likes Washington State getting 2.5 in the Cheez-it Bowl against Air Force."
"Well, alas he has emerged from the Laz-Y-Boy to greet the combatants, and before we get under way here, let's pause for these words."

 

That’s too up-market for me. I love scuzzy Vegas. Find me at The D.

And time to get on the plane.

Chef, I’m unsure whether to be humbled or horrified.

 

I didn't have to read it to give it a like. The effort alone.

 

Need Batman to bring in Vin Scully now for the play-by-play action and backstory filler.