Merry Christmas in jail for Charlie Sheen

Farley's issues never cost him parts.

 

Corey Haim is hoping to film Lucas 2 with Sheen from hell.

 

No, just his life, which was why I edited your post just to show that Sheen is more or less a superhuman to have survived (so far) all that he's done to himself.

 

Sheen may be television's version of Keith Richards.

 

I would very much agree with this.

 

Abe Vigoda will outlive them all.

 

In about a month or two, Sheen will go on Letterman, make fun of himself and everybody will love him again.

Self-deprecation goes a long way these days.

 

True story: Did not realize Sheen and Jon Cryer were both in Hot Shots until I saw it las tnight. Knew Sheen was in it, not Cryer. That they were playing roles eerily similar to the 2AAHM characters made me go whoa.

 

"Charlie Sheen is the king... nobody can beat him -- not anyone."

GOAT... now that was 30k well spent!!

 

Charlie Sheen's One-Time Porn Star Piece Is Knocked Up

And every stork just nose dived into the damn ground. Kacey Jordan, the 22-year-old 'adult film star' who got a $30,000 check from Charlie Sheen during his massive crack & cooch party, has found her womb full of something other than tears from her other organs, crack smoke and 31 flavors of rogue jizz. Kacey is pregnant with a fetus who rapidly developed a face just so that it could make a "F*CK MY LIFE" expression.

TMZ bought the text from Kacey's not right ass with a gift certificate to the free clinic /magically got a hold of a text message that Kacey sent to Charlie Sheen telling him that she's knocked up and doesn't "think" the baby is his. TMZ's sources say that Charlie should have wrapped his crack dick up in a condom before humping on Kacey, but they were both so fucked up that she's not sure if they did it right. Charlie shouldn't worry about Kacy's name being added to his payroll under "baby mamas," because if any of his sperm fish managed to stumble down her crotch alley, I doubt they made it to the right place. Those jizz fishes were so cracked out that they wandered around and begged anything they came in contact with for a quarter or 25 cents. And it's not like they'd have the strength to break through an egg. If anything, they probably just passed out on top.

Charlie has yet to say anything about this, and Kacey is going to get an abortion in the next few days. In case you wanted to know. It's sort of a sad shame, because what baby wouldn't want to crawl into the kitchen and find his mother with lube in her hair, a coke haze in her eyes and a mouth that is throwing out the words, "You want some Wonder Breads, baby?"
http://www.dlisted.com/node/40810

 

We didn't. And we wish you had asked first so we could have told you. What the fuck is wrong with you?

 

Well, that was special.