Mid-Life Crisis Suggestions?

On a reasonably serious note: If/when I get to that age, I can see blowing a huge chunk of money on a vacation I've always wanted to take but could never justify paying for.

 

Oh, I am taking that vacation this fall ... right on down to the bursar's office for my daughter's freshman year of college!

 

A 22-year-old yoga instructor (/crossthread)

 

Note to self: Stay the fuck away from Versatile.

 

No, you have to stay close to Versatile. Anywhere within 49 miles of him, you're cool. Or, at least, alive.

I don't understand the part about the shovel, though. Why is that the key? Seems like a cumbersome weapon. More difficult to hide. I'd probably go with a hammer. Disposing of the body would be such a bitch, though. I'd love to go all Dexter, but I hate using Saran Wrap. I think you just leave the guy in the alley. No witnesses, no motive, no cleaning. I might study up on blood splatter at an Internet cafe. See what angle might be best in an attempt to avoid getting any DNA on clothing, etc...

And I would wear Uggs, just so they get bad publicity if I leave any footprints.

 

A hammer, huh? Well, I know what it wouldn't be, a screwdriver. Our place is like the Bermuda Fucking Triangle for those things.

 

Huh. That's odd.

 

You can rent a car with a fake name these days? And if you find a place that will let you rent a car without showing ID ... um, why even bother with the fake name? Body disposal may be the most legal thing that vehicle has been used for.

 

may i suggest a nice drive to the beach with your shovel with a couple bags of lye? dig a hole during low tide, dump your package, the lye, and there you go. problem solved.

 

Go sky diving. I am actually considering it for my 30th in December, as long as it isn't snowing.

 

So I'm coming up on the midpoint of my mid-life?

Well, fuck. Now I'm going to have a crisis.