Mind your F'ing business

I had a rental car reservation recently and went to the airport only to find they didn't have enough cars and was told that I would have to wait four hours to get one. Needless to say, I didn't have four hours and had to find alternate means of transportation. Does that mean if I write National Car Rental, I might get a free car rental?

 

I'm not afraid to admit that I peed my pants something fierce when OTR did that. Dude is dangerous to himself and others. And when they accidentally brought him a Natty Light instead of a Bud? I didn't walk, I ran up Broadway to the safety of Busch Stadium.

Anyway, as Clerks so perfectly illustrated, the customers are just as annoying as "the help" if you're on the other side of the transaction. The Clerks' customer montage pretty much nails it, but on my last night of working a summer job at the video store, I finally had to do something, though nothing as rash as Randall in the movie.

Some brain-dead cretin decided to engage me in conversation about her family, personal life, etc., as if I gave two shits. That alone, wasn't terrible, but it was her air of indignance if you tipped your apathetic hand, as if I was obligated to care about her personal life just because I was hauling in $6-an-hour handing VHS tapes to people.

That night, I decided to go beyond polite indifference and show outright, silent indifference. Feeling like she wasn't getting anywhere in several sorties about her personal life, she tells some lame joke. I just stood there.

"C'mon, that was pretty funny, right?"

"No, ma'am, that wasn't funny at all. That's one of the dumbest jokes I've ever heard. Here's your tape, have a nice night," which I said with a completely dispassionate monotone.

Total silence. Followed by some profanity, followed by a pledge never to visit the store again.

As my "veteran" co-workers giggled, the new person they were training to replace me was shocked. She said it was that was a total dick move.

"It was a total dick move, you're right. But within a week you will learn to really dislike some of these people."

When I delivered pizza in college, I had a demerit system. If a regular under-tipped, they got three strikes. If three tips were below 15 percent, all of their pizzas were carried like a football under my arm from that point forward. Have fun with all of the cheese sliding into 10 percent of the pizza surface you cheap fuckers!

So you never know when you're on the receiving end of such shenanigans. Not that it makes it right of course.

 

Yeah but if you collect 3,750 of them and send them to Bazooka you get, in 4 to 6 weeks, a super spy set.

 

Would you suggest actually writing a letter, or would an e-mail suffice?

 

Write an actual letter, and include a business card with all your contact information.

Handwritten letters show that you're concerned enough to put an above-average amount of effort into your complaints.

 

JERRY: I don't understand, I made a reservation, do you have my reservation?
RENTAL CAR AGENT: Yes, we do, unfortunately we ran out of cars.
JERRY: But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation.
RENTAL CAR AGENT: I know why we have reservations.
JERRY: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.

 

Classic. The "contest" episode was on at 3:30 this morning.

"The question is....are you still master of your domain?'

 

Well, I sent two e-mails and a letter and they gave me a free car rental. So, I'll take it. Should be especially nice because we've been trying to live with one car and it is sketchy at best.

 

Dear Mr. Flynt:

I really love your magazine...

 

Outing alert: farmerj is mormon.

And some funny stories here, but life really is too short to go postal over the foibles of the poorly paid workers of the service industries. They probably don't get paid enough to be super nice.