Mitchell Report Thread (Nothing to see here! Drugs are bad. Crisis averted!)

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (ESPN: Clemens will be named)

This could be like a witch hunt when the names come out.

When a name is mentioned in this report, what does it mean?
* It's proved that they used steroids?
* It's proven that they obtained steroids?
* Some clubhouse attendant heard he used steroids?
* There's an allegation that they used steroids?
* There's an allegation that one of their trainers obtained steroids?
* There's an allegation that they bought steroids?

I sure hope that the report doesn't just throw out names but says what level of proof is associated with each name.

 

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (ESPN: Clemens will be named)

Very, very good points.

I have a friend that wants to say hello.

 

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (ESPN: Clemens will be named)

Exactly, 93Devil. I hope we just don't throw names out.

 

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (ESPN: Clemens will be named)

Oh, I know it's shaky stuff, TSP. That's the problem with this whole thing. They don't really have to prove anything to sully these players' reputations.

But we are talking about the report and it is of interest that Clemens reportedly will be on it.

 

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (ESPN: Clemens will be named)

I found this while surfing the net. Holiday greetings, Mitchell style...

T'was the Night Before Mitchell

T’was the night before Mitchell, when all through the league
Not a player was sleeping; the world would soon see
The names were all waiting, those tested and not
And come early morning, some names would be caught

The owners all fretted, played cool, but were stressed
When visions of empty seats would mean rain outs at best
The fans would now realize that under the cap
Was a God’s honest cheater, a hero now trapped

When out of the courtroom, once Barry the batter
Did spring from the bench and receive such a clatter
But now in each city, no fan could remain
Convinced that their team had played clean in the game

The names on the list of the new-written doc
Gave the sorrow of winter to a summertime flop
When what to his wondering ears should arrive
But a bevy of names Selig wished he could hide

Then a little old man who Bud once had hired
Presented the outcome that should get him fired
More cutting than Peavy’s, as heavy as Webb’s
The names were all shouted, Bud wished he was dead

“Now Barry! Now Raffy! Now Big Mac and Sosa!
“Your names will not be held alone any longer!”
“Come Clemens? Come Gagne? Big Papi and Wagner?
“The gasp of your fans will drown out all the laughter!”

As loose change in sofas compiles through the year
The scornful remarks Barry’s haters held dear
Were high as the sky, but suddenly silent
As he now had friends in the “cheater” department

And then with a chuckle, the laughter re-grew
They pointed at Selig, “We’re laughing at YOU!”
He wondered aloud how they could be scoffing
“Because you’re as shifty as loose rabbit droppings!”

He was dressed all in red-face, but he knew the truth
For he had a hand in the falling of Ruth
And Aaron’s miraculous, jaw-slacking record
Was now in the shadow of steroids forever

His eyes, how they widened! His brow, what a furrow!
His cheeks were as red as a drunk John Turturro
His tense little mouth in a frown just as always
A look on his face like he’d pinched one off…sideways

The truth had come out, he had known all along
He’d known of the steroids, he’d seen them grow strong
Now Mitchell, the hired man, brought forth all the knowledge
Of wood bats whose stats were once reserved for college (ping!)

The press was all there…yes they, too, were witness
To players whose bodies defied normal fitness
Though Mitchell did not seek to slander their name
Reporters were part of the mess all the same

He spoke many words, that Mitchell did he
Erasing the fans’ Barry-Bonds-scapegoat-glee
The problem was bigger, much bigger it seemed
Than most of the hypocrite fans once believed

He sprang from his pulpit, no podium here
He’d spoken the truth of a game once revered
The heard him exclaim of the glove, bat, and ball
“These used to be sacred, now shame on you all!”

 

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (ESPN: Clemens will be named)

The report will, according to the NYT, not be kind to Bud.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/13/sports/baseball/13mitchell.html?_r=2&ref=sports&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

 

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (ESPN: Clemens will be named)

And apropos of nothing, but a stunning example of why politicians should not be involved in sports, John Kerry on ESPN just referred to baseball as the 'National Baseball League.'

Elsewhere: No question that Brian McNamee completely flipped on Clemens and probably Pettitte.

 

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (ESPN: Clemens will be named)

Kerry: Who among us doesn't enjoy a good, well executed double switch?

 

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (ESPN: Clemens will be named)

Maybe he thinks an MBA is the pro basketball league.

 

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (ESPN: Clemens will be named)

No Kerry in the astronaut suit? Man, boom is slipping

 

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (ESPN: Clemens will be named)

I may be no Kerry fan, but I remember another Massachusetts pol uttering the names Mike McGwire and Sammy Sooser. Wonder if those two will be on the list...

 

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (ESPN: Clemens will be named)

Exactly my point. If you're going to get on the soapbox, at least know something about the soap.

(Kerry was talking about the ordeal over the Patriots final regular season game, scheduled to be shown on NFL Network, meaning most of the country won't see it, and how there had been a similar issue earlier this season with the National Baseball League.)