Mitchell Report Thread (Nothing to see here! Drugs are bad. Crisis averted!)

heyabbott · Dec 13, 2007

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (SI: Tejada, Justice, Knoblauch to be nam

etsuwes said:

I've been told that Varitek has been named. I'm really shocked there's no Ortiz. ... But this list is basically a Yankee list plus Bonds, McGuire. That's no big shock coming from Mr. Red Sox. As soon as I saw he was placed in charge of this report, I knew that the Yankees would be spotlighted and everyone would want to begin to place asterisks by their recent series titles.
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Actually, you could 6 degrees of separation from the Baltimore Orioles. While Sosa, Belle and Palmeiro didn't start taking 'roids and such with the O's, they seem to be a magnet for users.

But with such light-weights like Jerry hairston and Manny Alexander on the purported list, 'roids doesn't seem to magical.

ondeadline · Dec 13, 2007

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (SI: Tejada, Justice, Knoblauch to be named)

Roger Cosack just confuses Jason Priestly and Jason Grimsley.

zeke12 · Dec 13, 2007

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (SI: Tejada, Justice, Knoblauch to be nam

BYH said:

bostonbred said:

haha this is going to be like the NFL draft, im waiting for a ticker on the side of the screen.
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And the Red Sox are on the clock!

*15 minutes of discussion about which Red Sox might be named*

Mel Kiper Jr.: "My top 10 Red Sox players most likely to be named in the report are David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Curt Schilling, Mark Bellhorn, Kevin Millar, Johnny Damon, Doug Mirabelli, Mike Timlin, Tim Wakefield and Jonathan Papelbon."

Chris Berman: "From?"

Tom Jackson and Berman: "MISSISSIPPI STATE!"

Emmitt Smith: "That would blowed me away."

Chris Mortensen: "My sources are telling me that the steroid report will not actually be released today and that Michael Vick is not going to be charged with killing dogs."

*after none of the 10 players are listed*

Theo Epstein: "Mel Kiper Jr. just does not understand how The Mitchell Report works."
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Priceless.

Football_Bat · Dec 13, 2007

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (SI: Tejada, Justice, Knoblauch to be nam

Zeke12 said:

Oz said:

kingcreole said:

Seems like quite a few Yankees have already been named.
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And no Red Sox players. Big shock there, huh, given Mitchell is still employed by the Red Sox.
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Varitek.
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And former Red Sock Johnny Damon. And former Red Sock Roger Clemens. And former Red Sock Eric Gagne. And former Red Sock Nomar Garciaparra. And former Red Sock Trot Nixon. (Do I detect a pattern here?)

BYH · Dec 13, 2007

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (SI: Tejada, Justice, Knoblauch to be named)

I hope Jim Harrick jumps out and startles Jeremy Schapp. "THAT'S NOT JOURNALISM DICK!!!"

Songbird · Dec 13, 2007

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (SI: Tejada, Justice, Knoblauch to be named)

Been cheating in baseball since the beginning. And the beat goes on.

I'm not disappointed with any of this. To be expected.

The only thing it does is put a small tainting on the summer of '98. Few things in life ever captivated me as much as the McGwire-Sosa HR battle; something I dearly needed at that time in my life.

But I'm not going to hold these guys in a poorer light. Who among us hasn't broken the law? Only difference is, these guys got caught.

ondeadline · Dec 13, 2007

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (SI: Tejada, Justice, Knoblauch to be named)

The report has photocopies of personal checks used to buy steroids. How stupid are these guys? Just pay cash!

zeke12 · Dec 13, 2007

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (SI: Tejada, Justice, Knoblauch to be nam

Rondell White?

bostonbred · Dec 13, 2007

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (SI: Tejada, Justice, Knoblauch to be named)

ondeadline said:

Roger Cosack just confuses Jason Priestly and Jason Grimsley.
Click to expand...

Good stuff.

zeke12 · Dec 13, 2007

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (SI: Tejada, Justice, Knoblauch to be nam

ondeadline said:

The report has photocopies of personal checks used to buy steroids. How stupid are these guys? Just pay cash!
Click to expand...

They'll just say it was for training or legal supplements.

PhilaYank36 · Dec 13, 2007

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (SI: Tejada, Justice, Knoblauch to be named)

BYH said:

bostonbred said:

haha this is going to be like the NFL draft, im waiting for a ticker on the side of the screen.
Click to expand...

And the Red Sox are on the clock!

*15 minutes of discussion about which Red Sox might be named*

Mel Kiper Jr.: "My top 10 Red Sox players most likely to be named in the report are David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Curt Schilling, Mark Bellhorn, Kevin Millar, Johnny Damon, Doug Mirabelli, Mike Timlin, Tim Wakefield and Jonathan Papelbon."

Chris Berman: "From?"

Tom Jackson and Berman: "MISSISSIPPI STATE!"

Emmitt Smith: "That would blowed me away."

Chris Mortensen: "My sources are telling me that the steroid report will not actually be released today and that Michael Vick is not going to be charged with killing dogs."

*after none of the 10 players are listed*

Theo Epstein: "Mel Kiper Jr. just does not understand how The Mitchell Report works."
Click to expand...

F'ing brilliant

HoopsMcCann · Dec 13, 2007

Re: The Running Mitchell Report Thread (SI: Tejada, Justice, Knoblauch to be nam

guys write checks to clubbies all the time, not just for steroids

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Mitchell Report Thread (Nothing to see here! Drugs are bad. Crisis averted!)

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