Mitchell Report Thread (Nothing to see here! Drugs are bad. Crisis averted!)

Re: Mitchell Report Thread (Verducci weighs in, Page 25)

Awesome. Totally awesome.

 

Re: Mitchell Report Thread (Verducci weighs in, Page 25)

Sifting through the Mitchell Report. I'm at the BALCO section and got a good laugh out of a Dodgers employee's description of Bobby Estalella - a "poster boy for chemicals."

 

Re: Mitchell Report Thread (Verducci weighs in, Page 25)

While I did once see Fireball Roberts win a race on a 3/4 mile fairgrounds dirt oval; this here is Seattle, and there's only one Jr. in these parts.

 

Re: Mitchell Report Thread (Verducci weighs in, Page 25)

Clemens in five years:

 

Re: Mitchell Report Thread (Verducci weighs in, Page 25)

More from Verducci's Q&A with himself:

What's the most important lesson here?

Get a mule to buy your drugs? Well, no. It's this: while the "list" of names is sexy, we have to remember we can't change the past, so we must look ahead.

Look ahead? F*ck that point, Tom. Are we in Russia now?

The whole point of this project is to look behind and see everything that went wrong, see who was involved, see how to fix it. Look ahead all you want. I can spend a few weeks looking behind, thank you.

Verducci comes off looking like a spin doctor for his personal god, Major League Baseball.

Have to say, I expected more from Verducci and SI.

A serious hammer job woulda been the first thing, and then go after Selig. Mr. Selig, as you might recall, made his money as a car salesman, and that's really all he looked like on Thursday: "Buy My Story!"

 

Re: Mitchell Report Thread (Verducci weighs in, Page 25)


Clemens in five years:

 

Re: Mitchell Report Thread (Verducci weighs in, Page 25)

local tv sports guy just said it was a biiiggg surprise tejada was named in the report and then he pontificated just a bit at the end with the anchor and, no shit, said "you know, years from now, people are going to look back at this phase of baseball and refer to this as the steroid era." now i know.

fucking tv guys.


(and of course i mean tv sports guys, not news producers)

 

Re: Mitchell Report Thread (Verducci weighs in, Page 25)

KSK on Roger Goodell's reaction to the Mitchell report:

[quote author=Big Daddy Drew]
Roger Goodell Reacts To The Mitchell Report

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

(takes deep breath)

Ah ha... Ah ha...

AHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

(sighs)

(wipes away tears)

Oh, God. Oh, God. Can't stop... laughing... Selig... so very dumb... such an amateur...

(giggles)

(calls Paul Tagliabue)

Tags! Tags! Are you watching this?... I know!... That's what I did too!... It's fucking GREAT... Later.

(hangs up)

Tee hee hee!

Hoo hoo hoo!

BAHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

(takes deep breath)

(makes self tequila gimlet)

What a bunch of losers.

[/quote]

 

Re: Mitchell Report Thread (Verducci weighs in, Page 25)

Would've been so much better if he was sipping gratefruit crystal light instead of tequila gimlet. Totally ruined the column for me.

 

Re: Mitchell Report Thread (Verducci weighs in, Page 25)

Oh, and catching the press conference one more time on FSN tonight, I just want to add this:

Donald Fehr can fuck off. An embarrassment to embarrassments.

 

Re: Mitchell Report Thread (Verducci weighs in, Page 25)

Remember, 20 years ago (!!?) the stories about Tony Mandarich's insane workout regimen, how he pumped tons of iron from morning to midnight seven days a week, how he shoveled down 40,000 calories of raw protein a day, how he spent $200 a day at the grocery store, how he guzzled gallons of triple-strength black coffee and cartons of Jolt Cola, so that explains why he weighed 330 pounds, was bald as a cueball, oozing with zits, and walked around grunting like an ape, with sulphrous smoke coming out of his nostrils??

Sure, you do. Rick Telander, as I recall, pretty much swore off covering college football after he was suckered into turning out one of these salami sandwiches for SI.

Pretty much the same reason I never ever write any bullshit "troubled athlete turning his life around" stories anymore. Just had enough of the horsecrap.