MLB 2018 regular season thread

This may be the biggest moment for the Tigers all season:

Report: Detroit Tigers TV announcers Mario Impemba, Rod Allen involved in physical altercation

 

I now want an Ernie Harwell play-by-play of that fight.

"Impemba kicks and deals. Allen stood there like the house by the side of the road and watched that Impemba punch go by. Now they've simultaneously knocked each other out. A tooth goes flying and a man from Hamtramk will go home with that one. They're both splayed out on the ground. It's two for the price of one! And they're LOOOOOOOOONNNNNGG gone as employees of the Tigers!"

 

I finally get what second deck is all about.

 

Free curly fries for everyone!

 

Country strong, padner
What makes this even better is this weekend the Cardinals are in town for the celebration of the 50th anniversary of the 1968 World Series team
I’m going Sunday then torturing myself with Lions-Jets Monday night

 

They must be auditioning for an anchor spot in West Virginia.

 

I noticed the name and assumed they're related but still don't get the joke.

 

Walgreens, who were 33-22, are now 69-72.
In the first six seasons of the second wild-card era, 21 teams won ≥ 33 of a season's first 55 games. Of them, 18 made the playoffs. The 21 fast-starters collectively averaged a 93-69 record in the seasons in question.
Walgreens on pace for 79-83 and no ring for Bryce Harper.

 

Still great. "I must be in the front row."

 

Suuuure:

A's Kelley slices thumb in dishwashing mishap

 

Thirty years plus ago, I saw Rodney Dangerfield live. His timing was so good. He could tell the hoariest old stinker of a joke and still pull a laugh out of you simply on his timing and delivery. I still remember half a dozen jokes he told that night.

The one that is applicable here was "Yeah, you seen my Lite Beer commercials?" (crowd applauds) "Yeah, since I started drinking Lite Beer, my wife says I'm less filling but I taste better." (loud laughter)


The funniest moment of the night came after his set was over. He had the house lights brought up and took questions. Some were serious inquiries, some were softball setups for a joke, and a few were people trying to heckle Rodney, who no doubt had heard them all before.

Anyhow.

"Any other questions?"

"Yeah. What do you do for a living?" (Crowd goes "OOooooh! and a few laugh)

"I find men for your mother." (Crowd howls with laughter)

RIP Rodney.