MLB Playoffs

BYH, buddy, it's not a reverse jinx. It's that I just don't care anymore. If the Mets win, great. If they lose, oh well, it's been a great season. What does it mean to me if they win? Nothing. Oh, I'll be happy if they win, but they don't put more money in my pocket if they win. They don't take money out of my pocket if they lose. It simply doesn't matter.

 

Oliver Perez vs. Jeff Suppan = ???

 

And New York sophistication officially died tonight. 55,000 idiots are waving white towels at Shea Stadium. Why, you ask? Apparently, someone who owns, er, works for the Mets was displeased that 55,000 jackasses in flyover country wore red and waved red towels at The Son Of Busch Stadium during games three, four and five.

Fucking stupid.

 

That's really original. No one's ever *cough* Minnesota Twins *cough cough* waved towels during a major sporting event.

Perhaps if the Mets make the World Series, they can give fans these plastic, air-filled things that they bash together in order to make more artificial noise. I'd call them Thundersticks.

But before that, they should have a song for fans to sing along with during the eighth inning. Something by Neil Diamond. No one's ever done that.

 

Maybe they can dig up the zombie corpse of Kate Smith and have her sing "God Bless America" during the seventh inning.

Fucking towels. This is New York. We don't need towels. Let the flyover country hillbillies have 'em.

 

Allow me to distance myself from making fun of our middle country brethren.

The Angels are on the west coast and foisted Thundersticks upon the world. The Yankees are in New York and fucking foisted "Cotton Eyed Joe" and that moron Freddie Sez (BYH sez stick this spoon up your ass) upon the world. The Mets assaulted eardrums throughout the 2000 World Series in general and gave "Who Let The Dogs Out" another week of exposure.

No area of the country is exempt from stupid rally shit.

 

Good fucking God, Preston Wilson could stand in there all night long and not make contact against Perez.

 

This Pujols-Perez AB will be the game BTW.

 

Damn you Pujols. Money man comes up small again.

I wonder if the world's surliest bastard will say he wasn't that impressed by Perez afterward.

Cards have blown too many chances the last 14 innings. They're not winning this game. May as well prep my new sig. Fuck you old man!!!

 

And Perez wins the matchup...

 

Thundersticks, Cotton Eye Joe, Freddie The Fan, the idiot who bangs the pot at Sheat and "Who Let The Dogs Out'' are all mind-numbingly stupid. But towels? Who thinks waving towels is a good idea? The last time someone waved a towel in New York, slack-jawed Padres fans watched in horror as Yankees fans ripped the towel from their hands and set it on fire.

 

what a f-ing catch!