Most Insufferable Holiday Hit.

It's right here in my heart.
But that awful beer-drinking ditty is "O Holy Night" compared to "The Christmas Shoes."

 

Tough to argue with that, Fen.

 

Awww ... come on! Love that song! Now, Jingle Bell Rock is one that sucks. Yeah, let's jam to jingle bells.

 

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree....How can you dance around in a new old-fashioned way?

Wouldn't that just be a new way?

 

Yes my brother, it's in the genes. The synthesizer alone from that song is almost enough to ruin whatever good he did with the Beatles. McCartney was undoubtedly smoking copious amounts of weed when he made that. If only the Japanese could have arrested him before that song was recorded, we'd hail them for their anti-terrorist pre-emptive strike.

Other songs that don't replicate Jesus' gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, but were gifts of banality, annoyance and shit.

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth, Spike Jones? -- If I ever catch the fucker who wrote this, I'll cut his head off and display it on a giant peppermint stick just outside my city limits to ward off others from doing the same. I fucking HATE that song! It's better I leave it at that before I go on a tri-state killing spree just thinking about it.

A Chipmunk Christmas -- Annoying little fuckers.

Happy Xmas, John Lennon -- Over-rated! Clap ... clap, clap-clap-clap!

I Believe In Father Christmas, Greg Lake -- Just depresses the shit out of me, just like most anything from the ELP wing of prog rock.

Step Into Christmas, Elton John -- No likey.

Santa Baby, several -- What a greedy bitch, what does Santa get in return for all that shit? Better be more than cookies and milk.

I can't even remember Wham's Christmas song, but I'd venture to guess that I hate it.

 

You know, I had completely forgotten about that song. I'm thankful I haven't heard it yet this month. Easily the worst song he made ... until that "Freedom" 9/11 song, anyway.

 

I've always had a soft spot for "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch." Best lyrics ever.


The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

 

Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby" is terrific, and the Greg Lake tune has always been one I liked.
Bubbler's been nipping the Yuletide Leinie's a little early, I think.

 

"Banality, annoyance and shit" are the three unholy gifts from consumer culture's influence on the Christmas season.

 

Sorry to correct you but it's:
The three words that best describe you are as follows,
and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

I'm also partial to the line "I wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole".

Great version of this by Sixpence None the Richer.

 

Mr. Burl Ives, come on down.