Motivating a teenager

She's only doing enough if those extracurricular activites are enough to get her into the school she wants.

 

Not far less, 13 cents less.
I was 15 in 1985 and the minimum wage was $3.35, adjusted for 120.33% inflation that would be $7.38 today.

 

Hmmm ... OK it depends where you were exactly on the timeline. $3.35 in 1981 equates to $8.74 now. $2.30 in 1976 equates to $9.58 now. etc. etc.

Bigger point being that the expenses you're talking about having the girl afford now, car and insurance, you'd have a difficult time paying for those with a minimum-wage part-time job the way we could back then.

 

You know what would infuriate a teenager? Expecting them to be mature and be motivated when the parents cannot even have a civil conversation with one another.

 

I had a babysitting job all through high school that was a dream. They had two boys and they wanted a male babysitter. I got the gig when one of my friends had a regular conflict and he told me, "You're going to thank me for recommending you, this is a dream gig."

I'd go over at 6, they'd have a pizza waiting for me. The boys would get home at 7, we'd play full court basketball in their garage for an hour or so, then go in and watch TV. Great kids, never gave me attitude a single time and I stay in touch with the family almost 25 years later. I would have done it for free, but it was another $15 or $20 a week, which at the time (1990) was pretty damn good for two kids.

 

Since she's in cheerleading, are there any cheerleading teams for younger kids that maybe she could sign on to as a paid coach? That's one way she could earn money while helping to do something she likes.

Or, channeling my inner YF here (AHHH, it hurts, it hurts!), maybe she can offer her own cheerleading tutoring services. She can help coach up the little kids and charge the parents who think little Suzie will receive a scholarship if they practice 5 hours a day a good chunk of change.

 

We have a neighbor who is in 8th or 9th grade who is a competitive figure skater who makes a fortune coaching younger kids. I remember her dad telling me that she gets something like $25 an hour to coach two kids for five hours a week and when I said, "Holy crap" he said, "If they went with an adult coach, it would be 4X that amount."

 

If you're sure her biological father will buy her a car and pay for the expenses, you might as well cede that battle now. That sounds like a potential World War III brewing.

 

That is a good idea.

 

I have a 19-year-old brother (15 years younger than me) who will be a sophomore at a junior college in the fall. He lives at home, has no job, refuses to get a job, has no car because our parents won't buy one for him nor pay for the insurance or gas. He got so-so grades in high school; good enough to get at least some higher education. At this point, he's taking out loans to pay for school, so he has no obligation to share his grades now. And he exercises that option.

He believes he'll get a job related to his computer science degree after he graduates, despite have absolutely no work experience.

He's delusional. Save your daughter while you can.

 

Parents can't save their kids. They're too human and flawed themselves.