My favorite female columnist brings the funk today....

For those missing my point, it's really quite basic.

If you're covering this issue, you're obligated to stay neutral and focus on the facts.

Really quite simple. Yet extremely difficult for today's media.

 

So, victims should just give in to society's misguided views rather than fight back when they are raped?

 

Cadet was not discussing newspaper coverage, Dye. She was talking about society's treatment of rape victims. Two completely and totally different things were being discussed.

 

I think it comes down to what a victim is comfortable doing. There are women (and men) who are strong enough after a rape to "fight back" and file charges, but those folks are few and far between at the moment. Frankly, the judgment passed on rape victims by society is more than enough to keep most of victims from pressing charges.

 

Sportschick is right. Too much shame and guilt are carried around by those who have been raped/molested/abused ... whether physically, emotionally, mentally and/or spiritually. Those who choose to "fight back" are the bravest souls ... yet that's just one human's opinion.

 

To complete that thought, then, don't we need more brave women to fight back, pursue charges and come away with their heads held high, to prove to all of us that it can be done? Wouldn't that encourage more women to step forward and stop the scum that raped them by making sure the rapists were punished? And wouldn't that go back to the argument that if Hnida is out there making the media rounds and talking about her experience, she should take action against her attacker?

I don't know what she should do, and I sure as hell don't know what I would do in her situation, but if her goal is to help other rape victims, she has/had a chance to be a tremendous role model by fighting back in the legal arena. I don't know if it's possible for her to do anything now -- civil action, perhaps, with its lower standard of judgment -- but it would be a chance to really make a statement.

 

For the record, Hnida has said that she did not go to the hospital after the rape and that, like many women, showered almost immediately, destroying any evidencet that have existed.

There is no evidence. It would strictly be a he said, she said thing. And it's doubtful that even in civil court he would be found liable.

I think her coming out, saying "this happened to me and I didn't let it ruin my life" makes a magnificent statement to other women. I don't expect those of you who haven't been assaulted to understand why that is. You've haven't been in our shoes. You haven't had to spend years in therapy before you came to understand that it wasn't your fault.

Getting women to come forward and press charges isn't going to happen as long as the enormous social stigma remains attached to the rape victim. As long as there are people who refuse to believe a woman when she says she was raped (and there are plenty of people on this board who think Hnida is lying, they've told me as much) or who blame a woman when she does get raped, women aren't going to want to press charges.

You want women to seek justice against rapists, work to change society. When somebody says she deserved it or she asked for it, call them on it. Tell them that NOBODY asks to be raped. That it's the attacker's fault, not the victim's. Believe women when they come forward and tell their story. Don't tell people, "Oh, she's just doing it for attention." If you want change, start with yourself.

 

I disagree with the notion that "she didn't let it ruin my life".
If it didn't ruin her life, it's now running her life, because she's clearly mandated herself to talking about it non-stop, rehashing it again and again.
It seems to be that it has become her life - at least for the foreseeable future.

Can't even imagine what's going through her mind. I hope she doesn't think that the money she may make off this will in some way make up for what she went through. It won't. And it won't in any way make up for the lack of justice.

I hope she doesn't think that rehashing it is going to change the way schools, overall, handle these types of situations with their premier athletes - although I guess it couldn't hurt.

But as we've seen with our disposable "crime overkill," people stop talking about Lacey Peterson when the next victim comes along for the news channels to give 24/7 coverage to. We wouldn't even be talking about Jonbenet - ever - if her mother hadn't died recently.

I don't question her motives. I don't pass judgment on how she chooses to deal with it.

It's just that it seems somewhat contradictory to me. Let her do what she needs to do, I guess. But I won't be paying attention. There's just a "15 minutes of fame, get on a reality show, get that brief American time in the spotlight" kind of thing to it.

I know that's probably unfair. I guess I've just become inured to people's personal tragedy, because so many choose to do the "circuit" to use the American public as their collective shrink, to the point where you simply get sick and tired of hearing about it. Not always the victims' fault, I realize.

My personal tragedies just don't get broadcast that way. I guess that's just me.

 

There will never be any solution so stop trying to bring one about?
Nice.

 

Not in today's agenda-driven media. Not with this issue.

 

By the way, what the hell does "bring the funk" mean and how can we all bring it to our work?