My New Neighbor -- What to Do?

How long did it take for "Fuck him in the ass" to be posted?

We're slipping.

 

IJAG had to call us out on it for not getting to it quicker. It was a grievous oversight.

 

Webster,

Seems like he is a bit obsessive, obviously. Not sure if he means well or is just horrified that your house isn't perfect.

Having strained relations with the neighbors isn't fun. Neither is listening to him tell you what to improve.

So next time you see him be the aggressor. Compliment him on his lawn or the beatufil rose bushes or whatever. Just keep it on him.

If he gets around to what your landscaping needs, you are saving up for it or working on it and wish you had his touch, etc. etc.

Just turn it back to him in a positive way. He'll probably get off on that.

If that doesn't work, then go with the bologna.

 

I said to fuck the wife on the first page. assumed the "in the ass" part was understood. It was later added for clarification.

 

While "... in the ass" can generally be assumed around here, we like to tack it on in case visitors stop by.

Makes them feel at home.

 

I swear to God I thought this was a parody thread.

But now that I know that it isn't, I am going to vote you find something to get on him about. Is he a shitty dresser? Everytime you see him, tell him he should be wearing something else. His wife walks by, ask him what corner she works on.

 

Did the previous owners tell you about him? If not, it's grounds for a lawsuit: failure to disclose an existing fault in the house. Or next to it, at lease.
Meanwhile, tell him about the plans for the snake habitat in the backyard.

 

You know, I'll vote for that. If it works for you.

 

"He says again, 'Good fences make good neighbors.' "

 

-take him up on some of his suggestions but do them really half assed on his side of the house.

- Do the work late at night and make a lot of noise.

- tell him your funds are tight and ask him to lend you the money

- Tell him you are not too good with tools and ask him to do the work for you.

 

The best answer to this issue came from a gentleman I used to have the honor of working with, James H. Jackson of the Baltimore Sun.

Suffice it to say with eight or nine kids, that his lawn took a pounding. And when the neighbors came over to rag on him about it, he took them aside and said, "I'm growing kids, not grass."

 

say to him "Hey neighbor, I hear paying for yardwork is a great housewarming gift"

or just say him to him "thanks for the advice, if you insist on repeating the advice, just call me Boots"