My Small Wal-Mart Victory

I love Wal-Mart. Haven't had too many bad experiences, and I can could get everything under one roof.

* Thanks, Connecticut, for hating Wal-Mart and stopping them from building SuperCenters so now I have to go to an actual grocery store. And now the Wal-Marts close at 9 p.m.

 

The real issue is why go to Wal-Mart at all.

 

George Costanza bought a security guard a chair.

 

And look what it got? A sleepy guard and a successful robbery. Had he bought the bar stool, maybe that wouldn't have happened.

 

Well, he can pick up on the slightest bit of human suffering.

 

Think he's sensing anything now?

 

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

 

Wal-Mart botched an oil change for me about a decade ago. It ended up costing me $300.

I haven't been back mostly out of shame for making the decision to have Wal-Mart do an oil change.

 

Was their oil change cheaper than the competition's prices?

 

I've simply grown to hate Wal-Mart because of the crowds, the nastiness of the stores and the extreme lack of decency throughout almost all the stores. There are still a few out there that are tolerable, but I won't go into a Wal-Mart unless it's after midnight. If the Super Target near my apartment was open 24 hours, I would never step foot into Wal-Mart again.

While I don't agree with what Pete did -- and I would never expect a person at the jewelry counter to check people out -- the customer service at Wal-Mart is next to nothing. It's been said a million times, but the real Wal-Mart died when Sam died. Walton was known to show up at stores unannounced, and if they got in a big rush, he'd open up a lane and check people out himself until the rush died down.

 

Super Targets make Super Wal-Marts look like the fucking disease-ridden crack dens that they are.

 

Because in my neck of the woods, Wal-Mart is like a freakin Galleria.