Need advice: Child custody battle

I'm wondering if this guy is also my stepdaughter's father.

Anyhoo ... don't let this dickbreath get to you. When shitfaces like this start playing hardball, they are seeing how much they can get away with. They really have no intent on seeing the inside of a courtroom because they know they won't win. A history of abuse? He's fucking lucky he has joint custody. If he actually goes through a court battle, he's dumber than my daughter's father, which means he's on a level with Lloyd Christmas.

My stepdaughter's father moved to another state a few years back. My wife has custody. He rarely calls, sends emails, sends birthday/holiday cards, etc. He rarely pays child support until threatened by the state and then, it's just one payment to get them off his back.

If your stepdaughter's father is being bitchy now, I got news for him - it's gonna get tougher and tougher to see your daughter if he doesn't start playing fair and by the rules. Next year, his daughter will be in first grade. Soon - if not already - she'll be playing sports or joining the dance club or girl scouts. In a few years, her summers will be filled with swim lessons, vacations, etc. She is going to want to spend time with friends from school. he better get his shit together before his relationship with his daughter is nothing more than something in a legal sense. Because that's basically what my stepdaughter's relationship with her father is like. One two-week visit a year has done little to help his image in her eyes.

 

Areaman. . .

Just like in a divorce, be sure to document everything, especially the incidents like you described when they refused to allow you to pick the child up.

If you drop the child off and he isn't there, document it.
If you pick the child up and he isn't there, document it.
If he begs off a weekend or a night, document it.
If he is supposed to do anything that he doesn't, document it.
If you are doing something more than he is legally allowed, document it as well and come up with a way to make sure that he not only knows that you are going above and beyond, but he acknowledges it.

This could get very ugly, especially if he attacks the character of you and your wife so be prepared and don't get dragged into any incidents that might be used against you.

Like all stories, this one has two sides and although yours sounds pretty interesting, I am wondering what he will tell the judge and what items he has to use against you and your wife. This is the information that you best need to prepare for.

 

In this day and age, I would do that documenting (darn good advice) by text messaging the dad (where are you, you are late) and CCing your own email a copy.

Oh, be sure you are not late either in picking up, doing things, etc...

 

Sorry if I missed something above, because I skimmed it but read your post.

Pragmatically, hate to say this but get the best attorney you can afford, seriously. Ask around, go up the ladder and find an attorney who is bright and they can make a recommendation, I know you've used someone before but if you feel sketchy at all about him/her, do not hesitate and get someone else who is more than competent, someone who instills confidence in you. Factually, everything appears to be in place, you just need someone to use those facts for you.

Sorry, your stepdaughter is a pawn. Simple as that. If you think its anything else, sorry, its naivete. You and your wife need to get over that. You are in a fight and you need to fight back. No more nice. You are in litigation, anytime you are in litigation you look back and see, "jeez I was just trying to be nice, and I got screwed." I unfortunately see it every day.

Good luck to you and most importantly to your stepdaughter.

BTW, my parents divorced when I was 4 and although my natural parents hated each other, thankfully, they never pitted my sister and I against the other parent and never fought any custody battles. Best gift a parent can give the kid(s) under the circumstances.

 

I echo the advice about getting a great lawyer. We took the high road in our home but pounded the shit out of him in the court room.

 

Area Man:

You've had plenty of good advice here. I'd have to agree with most of it ... Just stick to your guns.

People like your wife's ex piss me off, because I'm a non-custodial father also, and idiots like him really poison the waters for those of us who work hard, play by the rules, and try to do the right thing while maintaining a relationship with our children.

Good luck to you.

 

Thank you all for the wonderful advice and encouragement. We had our first consultation today and have many more lined up in the coming days. I'll keep you posted on what transpires, but after our first meeting, my wife and I are very confident in our situation.